The civic duty thing

I got picked for jury duty, which is A-OK with me, because it means I don't have to go to work for five or six days while the wheels of justice turn, presumably with my able assistance. Obviously, I'm prohibited from talking about the case (and I imagine that the judge would also have included blogging in the prohibition), but I can tell you that the D.A. was wearing a good suit that fit her perfectly. It remains to be seen if her case will be as effective as her outfit.

Who said jury duty was bad? I got to read a book all day, get paid both by work and by the City of Philadelphia, and got 10% off at selected vendors at the Reading Terminal Market just by flashing my juror badge. Admittedly, it would be better if I were on a celebrity trial, because I could then write a book afterwards and make loads of money, but a discount turkey sandwich is good, too.

By the by, I, like others, am heartened by Democratic victories Tuesday in New Jersey, Virginia and California. We haven't exactly turned the corner, but it's been so long since we had any good news that these electoral triumphs come like salvation.

The Dover Pogrom!

Oho! Eight of nine holy-rollers who are trying to push "intelligent design" into the Dover schools have been ousted, thusly. Thanks to Anju for the link. Women who dig evolution are sexy.

More on the election front: Jon Corzine cruised to victory in his gubernatorial race over Republican Doug Forrester. Doug, this is the second time you've lost handily to a Democrat in a New Jersey election. So far, the good voters of the state of New Jersey have said they want you as neither U.S. senator nor governor. Keep in mind that, in your Senate race, you lost to a candidate who was rushed into the race less than forty days before the election. Evidently the voters would have supported the Creature from the Black Lagoon if it had run against you on the Democratic ticket. Time to pack it in, methinks.

Today, whilst waiting in the jury room at the Philadelphia Criminal Justice Center, I started thinking. (At this point Dan always says, "Oh, God.") Shoes wear out. Coats wear out. Pants, shirts, socks, cars, rugs, towels, houses...everything at some point wears out and has to be replaced, except for one thing: Key rings. Not those fancy-schmancy key rings that open on a little hinge, but the standard round rings that require you to awkwardly jam a coin between their coils so you can struggle a key into their metallic grasp. Has anyone ever had one of those that had to be replaced because they wore out? How would they wear out? How would you break one? Where would you buy a replacement? How many questions will I ask about a topic that means very little to very few?

Another Dover Update

The president of the Dover school board has testified in the Dopes Trial, and here's a highlight.

Harkins acknowledged that her familiarity with the concept [of intelligent design] was limited to some Internet research and a brief reading of Of Pandas and People, an intelligent-design textbook that the Dover Area School District is using as a reference book in the high school's library.

Boy, I'll bet the parents in that district feel a lot better with such a meticulous and thorough educator at the helm! Here's another example of her dedication:

Nevertheless, Harkins said she felt the curriculum should specify what kinds of theories should be mentioned besides evolution.

"If you're going to say 'other theories,' then you need to have an
example of what 'other theories' is," Harkins said.

I'm sorry she didn't include stuff about Yggdrasil or Cronos...that would make science class way more fun!

I probably shouldn't prognosticate about this, but what the hell. These people are going to lose, and lose big, but the loss won't in any way deter their supporters. They'll view themselves as martyrs for Jesus, curse those godless liberals and the activist judges who work for them, and then start work on another slantwise way of introducing mythology into public schools. Ignorant fools.

Too much of a good thing

The other day Dan and I were in the Superfresh on South Street, and we saw on sale 10 boxes of cake mix for $10. Although a dollar a box is a good deal, who the heck buys 10 boxes of cake mix? Naturally, I straightaway phoned Sarcasmo to ask her the same question, and I'll bet it was the most curious phone call she'd received all day. Or maybe not.

Don't get me wrong; I like cake mix. I like licking the spoon after you put the pans in the oven, and I like flattening the top of the cake so it can better support the second layer. The trimmings that said flattening produces go down tasty with milk, and sometimes I have thought of eschewing the frosting and simply eating the cake naked. (The cake would be naked, not me. In case you were wondering.)

A Dover Update

Apparently, even the judge in the Dover case is getting pissed off at the school board. My favorite quote from the article:

In two separate, sworn depositions this year, Bonsell said he did not know the source of the $850 check for the books. But last week former board member William Buckingham testified he handed the check to Bonsell to give to his father, Donald Bonsell.

"You were the conduit by which your father received the $850?" said
Jones, his jaws clenched. "Why in January of 2005 didn't you tell [plaintiffs' attorney Eric] Rothschild on repeated questioning that Mr. Buckingham was involved in the exchange?"

Bonsell replied, "It was my fault. I should have said
Buckingham."

Well, I'm glad he's apologized for the false testimony he provided. Lying in a deposition without later apologizing would be rude.

Gar!

Oooh...I am sooooo angry! I was just listening to a BBC program in which pro-war Americans from Ohio were being interviewed, and you should have heard what they said. One woman said that support for the war and a desire to liberate people from dictators reflected Midwestern values, and that she knew that some people on the coasts just didn't share those values. Others echoed this sentiment.

Memo to those people: Fuck you! Who the hell do you think you are? My gosh...all we hear is how the liberals are this snobbish elite, yet then we're treated to this kind of holier-than-thou bullshit. This is an example of just another kind of elitism, which goes, "Well, we may not know what wine goes with what pasta, but we're going to Heaven." I'm sick and tired of hearing conservatives tell me how wrong, how valueless, how sinful, and how corrupt I am, and how upstanding, plain-speaking, old-fashioned, and most of all, modest, they are.

Although I'll admit I view most pro-war folks as politically naive, I don't think they're indifferent to human suffering, or satisfied with tyranny. I really, really wish they'd accord me the same consideration.

Oooh! My UFO teacher speaks!

I'm listening to "Voices of the Family" on NPR, and one of the guests is Dr. David Jacobs. He's a UFO researcher who taught "UFOs and American Society" at Temple when I was an undergraduate, and I recognized his voice on the radio straightaway. He was a good teacher, and the course was not easy, despite what you'd have thought from the title. Although I can't say I believe his claims (Carl Sagan said it best about extraordinary claims and extraordinary evidence), I can say he doesn't come across as crazy. That's important, because he believes in the abduction theories*, and that stuff is creepy.

The class involved a lot of history of the sightings, and of course an in-depth look at the abduction stories. Unlike what you hear on TV, not all sightings are by John-Deere-cap-wearing nobodies in the country. That doesn't mean that they're true, but I always feel as though I have to point that out.

*I'm using the word "theory" in the layman's sense, not the scientific sense. Would that creationists followed suit.

Lookin' forward to lunch

I'm hitting Murray's, this great Jewish deli on Montgomery Avenue. Every time I go there I ask myself what the hell Hitler was thinking. Jewish people have great delicatessens, their neighborhoods always seem clean and well-tended, and they're available to accompany us atheists who go to movies Christmas morning. What's not to like? Maybe the Nazis were jealous that, unlike Germans, Jews actually have comedians. Come to think of it, wiping out the gays was a pretty bad idea, too, if only for practical reasons. After the Holocaust, there wasn't one good deli or one decent haircut in Germany. Take that, Nazis!

My tire is now fixed, and in celebration I exceeded the speed limit on West River Drive by seven miles. I plan to celebrate Halloween by jaywalking.

A Movie Night return!

Yeah, I'm back at Movie Night this week, but only at the expense of Game Night tomorrow. Fall League always exacts its due.

Lately I've been embroiled in an online debate about these "conscience clause" laws that shield pharmacists who don't want to fill prescriptions for contraceptives. My concerns about the state making things difficult for small businesses aside, I'm troubled that the moral stances shielded are Christian and pro-life. I wonder if we'll start legally shielding the beliefs of other sects. Also, can these laws be extended to moral issues other than contraception? Should a pharmacist who thinks that sex is only for procreation refuse to fill a Viagra prescription for an elderly man? Should a pharmacist who thinks that AIDS is God's wrath be able to refuse to fill a prescription for medicines that fight HIV? Why should we shield pharmacists alone? How about the cashier who refuses to ring up the order? The stockboy who must bring in the drug from the truck? The bus driver who must drop the patient at the pharmacy? My gosh...extend this policy to its possible end, and we could wind up with half the economy refusing to service the other half.

Are Americans newly judgmental, or am I just waking up?

Flat Chance

That's a bad pun, but as a heading it beats out the runners-up, which were "I Want to Kill the Corporate Whores Who Work With Me" and "Human Resources Professionals Are F*cking Useless." Live with it.

This morning I had a wildcat flat tire. In case you were wondering, that is not a flat tire that stalks me through the brush and then leaps for the kill, jaws agape. Instead, it's a flat tire that comes out of nowhere. Saturday, tire good; Monday morning, tire bad. Anyway, I managed to get the spare on with Dan's help and without staining the new shirt I bought at Daffy's, but naturally the spare itself is low on air. Ugh. I just hope the damn thing gets me home alive tonight. If you hear about a teal Toyota Corolla doing an 80-mile-an-hour cartwheel on West River Drive, Movie Night's cancelled.

Back to HR people. I am sure they mean well, and I'm not suggesting we send them off to New Auschwitz for disposal, but I have to wonder just how they participate in the recruitment process aside from making a few phone calls and shuffling paper. I can make a few phone calls, and my ten-year-old niece can shuffle papers, but that doesn't mean we should be hired as a tag-team HR executive. (Our office would be this weird melange of Hilary Duff posters and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" memorabilia. You have to guess who owns which.)

A Frisbee Story

Those of you who don't play Ultimate may find this post boring, or maybe not. I guess my newly installed comments section will tell.

Wednesday night after my game I hit a bar with some of my team. They're drinking beer, and naturally I'm drinking diet soda. One of my teammates offers to buy everyone a round, and when asked what I'm drinking, I quipped, "Diet soda. In a dirty glass." In my world, that's a common Western-movie-type reference, when the gunslinger orders something (gin, whisky, whatever) in a dirty glass because he's so tough. Well, my world and my team's world evidently exist in different solar systems, because all I got in response were blank stares. As if to drive home the pop-culture gap, one person even said, "Uh...what's that mean?"

Speaking of the game, we won, but only because we were ahead when the rec center shut off the lights. (In nighttime Ultimate, the game ends when the lights go off, and the team ahead in points wins.) Given that we lost our last game for the same reason, it sort of balanced out. It was an exciting match, though, made more interesting when my team captain called the play.

Drew: "Scott and Sylvan play deep, with Todd and Patti popping, and Corey, Neil and I handling."
Me: "Drew, I've never handled in the zone before. I've seen it, but..."
Drew: "You'll be fine."
Me: "Uhh...okay."

For the Ultimate uninitiated, handlers are the folks who remain in the thick of the fray, sending the disc back and forth between them in short, controlled passes. The goal of the handlers is to wear down the defenders (who form a cup to prevent the offense from from moving the disc forward) and wait for a hole in their formation. A successful handler must have an accurate arm and a keen eye, as well as good judgment in knowing when to keep the disc amongst the handlers or when to try to send it deep or to a popper. In league, I never get to be a handler, and I never ask because in normal circumstances I'd be turned down flat.

Well, I pulled it off. I never once dropped the disc, nor did I make any crappy passes that hit nothing but dirt. I even dared to send the disc deep into the end zone, an attempt that was unsuccessful but lauded by my teammates as a good notion. We regained possession soon after the turnover anyway, and handled that bad boy right into the end zone. Ha-cha!

In case you haven't noticed, I find the competition of league quite invigorating. Although some people take it way too far, I think competition is a natural and necessary part of any sport. You can practice all you want, but only competition hones your skills to a razor's edge* and gives you the hunger you need to really win a game. Besides, it's fun to pit yourself against a player of equal or superior skill. The greater the challenge, the more satisfying the victory.

*My skills probably don't qualify for a razor comparison, though, unless it's a Bic razor. Or maybe a stone knife.

"Intelligent" design, Part II

Check out this article about the duh-Dover kerfuffle. My favorite part:

Because ID has been rejected by virtually every scientist and science
organisation, and has never once passed the muster of a peer-reviewed journal paper, Behe admitted that the controversial theory would not be included in the NAS definition. “I can’t point to an external community that would agree that this was well substantiated,” he said.

Behe said he had come up with his own “broader” definition of a theory, claiming that this more accurately describes the way theories are actually used by scientists. “The word is used a lot more loosely than the NAS defined it,” he says.

The NAS, by the way, is the National Academy of Sciences. Therefore, Behe is saying that the NAS, and all its thousands of members, are wrong, and he's right. Well, if we'd known that we could have saved ourselves a bunch of time and effort. From now on, I think perhaps school boards should simply decide to teach whatever Michael Behe, and not the National Academy of Sciences, says is right.

Thanks to Sarcasmo for the link. She knows how to make my day.

My own quiz!

Do you like "The Hobbit"? I do, so I have made me own quiz to test the knowledge of ye who dare. Put your responses in the comments. Or email them to me. Or keep them to yourself. Or ignore the quiz. See how easy it is?

1. What was the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities?
2. Who fought in the Battle of Five Armies?
3. What were the names of the swords Gandalf and Thorin took from the trolls?
4. Who killed Smaug?
5. What hides behind stars and under hills, and fills empty holes?
6. On what day did the setting sun shine a light on the keyhole?
7. Where did Gandalf find Thrain, Thorin's father, and get the map and key?
8. What game did Bilbo's fierce ancestor invent?
9. Who became King Under the Mountain?
10. How did Gandalf defeat Bert, Tom and Bill?

Gettin' Bagged

Last night I attended a mock-the-movie night, which features bad movies that take themselves quite seriously.* Since the last flick we screened was "Glitter", a cringeworthy little number, I was looking forward to the event. I was not disappointed.

We watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance", which starred Matt Damon and Will Smith. Evidently Ernie and Bert were otherwise engaged, so the producers settled on wooden actors made of flesh instead of wooden actors made of cloth. If you ask me, they should have saved their money and waited for the muppets. Anyway, this movie is about golf, and as such it is very long, very boring, and very pointless. Matt Damon plays a golf pro, mentally scarred by his experiences in World War I, who must come out of retirement to win a tournament for his hometown Savannah. During the combat scenes I found myself wishing the Germans had invented the atomic bomb about thirty years early, if only to wipe Damon off the screen. During the tournament scenes, I found myself amazed that the director had captured on film the exact tedium that is golf. However, just in case you need some insult with the mental injury that is "Bagger Vance", at the film's end, nobody wins the tournament. It's a three-way tie.**

Also, does anyone besides me think that Matt Damon really isn't very good-looking? He's got that all-American boy look, I grant you, and he's primped and polished for the screen, but when you get right down to it he ranks on the high end of average. If I'm going to suffer his acting, I at least want something pretty to look at, and Damon's looks just aren't worth it.

Still, the mocking was quite amusing, and so were the brownies, so I call the evening a success.

*Don't feel threatened, Movie Night folks...you are without rival.
**I suppose this is a spoiler, if anything could be said to spoil that piece of vomitous crap.

More from duh-Dover

As you may have heard, the Dover school board is now presenting its defense of the inclusion of "intelligent design" in its curriculum. To open the defense, they've summoned Michael Behe, a professor of biochemistry at Lehigh University. For those of you who aren't familiar with him, Behe is one of the few creationists who is a professor of a hard science; most of the others are doctors of theology or philosophy, or else they are juris doctors. Accordingly, they wheel him out whenever they have to defend their attempts to place their crackpot ideas into public school science classes.

Let me tell you a few things about Michael Behe. His first book, "Darwin's Black Box", was largely panned by academia, and he can neither get grants nor be published in mainstream scientific journals. His own university has stated that his "theory" has no place in science classes, and puts up with him mostly because he secured tenure before wandering into the realms of fantasy. In addition, despite his attempt to present the "intelligent designer" as something clinical, he believes that designer and the Christian god are one and the same. His children are all home-schooled, which is usually a pretty good sign that a person is strongly religious, and not in a healthy way. Eugenie Scott, director of the National Center for Science Education, and an awesome speaker, has said of Behe:

"I think Behe truly believes that he has discovered something quite
astonishing," said Eugenie Scott, director of the National Center for
Science Education, which supports the teaching of evolution in public schools. "But no one is using irreducible complexity as a research strategy, and with very good reason ... because it's completely fruitless."

(Irreducible complexity, by the by, is a criticism of evolutionary theory that I have seen and heard debunked many, many times. It's a lame horse Behe continues to insist can win the race.)

Michael Behe may have uncovered some vital truth, but if so he has failed to prove it scientifically. Until he does, I wish he'd shut his yap.

A Feast for Crows...finished!

Yep...I polished off this bad boy in four days, bettering my record with A Storm of Swords by one day. Of course, Crows was shorter than Swords, but I am proud nonetheless. Neat book, but one chapter disturbed me enough to make me put down the book for an hour or so. That rarely happens to me with any book, so take note.

Can I say that job-hunting is reminding me more and more of dating?* When a prospective employer tells you that the job you wanted is filled but they'll keep your resume for the future, it's the same as a boyfriend saying "It's not you; it's me." That's what we call a lie. Geez Louise...I haven't been single for coming up on two years, yet I get to hear this bullshit from another source.

I'd like to recommend to prospective employers the following policy: Be brutally honest. If you thought my resume sucked, or if my interview made you want to rip off my head, say so. Don't tell me you're going to keep a resume you really intend to trash, and for Pete's sake don't use the rejection letter as an opportunity to compliment me on my skills. That's too close to being told, "You're going to make someone very lucky someday." Too close for comfort.

Hey, I'm now wondering how the "rip off your head" rejection letter would go. Let's see...

Dear Applicant:

Thank you for your interest in Smith and Company. Although we appreciate the time you took to interview for X position, we wish you'd spent that effort in an activity other than wasting our time. We really hated your interview; I mean, you suck. Man, you suck. After you left, we sat around and discussed how we just couldn't believe how much you sucked. Seriously, dude, you need to do something about that, because if that interview had been three minutes longer we'd have ripped off your head. With rusty pliers.

Good luck in your career.

*The big difference is that, with the former, you're trying not to get screwed.

Huh?!?

I'm listening to an 80's CD kindly created for me by VisMajor, and I just finished "Come on Eileen." I've been hearing that song for about twenty years, and I can still decipher no more than one word out of five. I just Googled the lyrics, and they make no more sense than before.

Two Updates

First, I am about 180 pages into "A Feast for Crows", and I am enjoying it immensely. It doesn't have the radical ups and downs of "A Storm of Swords" (or at least not yet), but that doesn't surprise me.* Those of you who follow the series know that ASoS is a veritable frenzy of war, betrayal, and political intrigue, but that kind of frenzy can't last forever. AFfC feels more like the eye of the storm, in which political players both old and new are regaining their strength and taking stock of new opportunities for gain. I know that there have been bad reviews, but I enjoy this story and these characters so much that even if AFfC doesn't have much action I will still love it. George has created this incredibly rich and fascinating world, and I'm glad to tour it via reading.**

I was reading today about the progress of the Dover, PA trial regarding the introduction of "intelligent design" into public schools. The following exchange is between Brian Alters, a professor of science education at McGill University in Montreal, and defense attorney Robert Muise, who has the unenviable task of defending the Dover school board. Muise is questioning Alters' assertions that teaching "intelligent design" is detrimental to students.

Muise: "Do you have studies to show that intelligent design is detrimental?"
Alters: "I have no studies that show that any pseudo science is detrimental."

Go Dr. Alters!

*No doubt in the rest of the book a giant kraken will eat Westeros or some other suitably cataclysmic event will occur, just to make me a liar.
** If you're getting ready to chide me for providing spoilers, save it. First of all, I've said nothing that speaks to specific or even general actions on the part of characters. Second, my blog, my rules. I won't spoil the story here, but I reserve the right to make general comments.

It's here!!!

"A Feast for Crows" is mine! All mine! It arrived this afternoon, smelling of paper and England. I am now convinced that all good things come either from England or from Hershey, Pennsylvania.

I have to hang around after work for an 8pm game, which gives me about two hours in which to gorge myself on war and political intrigue. I'll make certain to post here phony spoilers that will annoy and mislead you. 'Cause that's that kind of guy I am.

Jury Duty! Whee!

I got called to jury duty! Joy and rapture! Some of you are probably wondering why the joy and rapture, but to me jury duty is almost always a winning deal. I get a day off from work, fully paid, during which I get to read books and maybe answer a few questions under oath. I got lots of books for my birthday, too, so I am all set.* I'm looking forward a day I don't have to drive to Bala Cynwyd (shiver) and during which I can use my juror badge to get a discount lunch at the Reading Terminal Market.

I did jury duty about twelve or thirteen years ago**, and I thought it was fairly interesting. Admittedly, I would have found it less so had I been stuck on the Scarfo jury or on some dreadful asbestos litigation, but I lucked out and got a criminal trial. Big shout-out to our founding fathers for that speedy-and-public-trial thing, which ensured that my jury service began and ended within five days. That was long enough for a pleasant break from work, but short enough so that I didn't want to strangle the other jurors. I was elected foreman, too, which meant I got to read the verdict, which was both more and less dramatic than I expected.

*Although A Feast For Crows is on its way, I will have finished that book WAY before jury duty begins.

**It's pretty terrifying that I was old enough thirteen years ago to discharge the duties of an adult American.

The New Jacket

I am wearing a new jacket today, one that I bought at (surprise, surprise) Daffy's for about thirty bucks. It is nice.

I received many books for my birthday, and although I am 25% of the way through the one kindly provided by Sarcasmo, I shall cast them all aside in favor of A Feast for Crows. Amazon tells me that the book is currently winging its way across the Atlantic, headed for my eager, grubby little hands. Yay! Some questions I want answered are:

• What will Prince Doran do when he learns of his brother's death?
• How will Varys duck responsibility for Tyrion's escape?
• Will Tommen actually marry Margaery?
• How will things shake out at Pyke in terms of the kingship?
• Will the Blackfish be taken during the siege of Riverrun?
• How will Westerosi treat the Freys in the wake of the Red Wedding?
• Will Littlefinger be able to retain his position as Lord Protector of the Vale?

Must know! Must know!

(I am happy to lend my copy to those who wish to read it, but be warned that Dan has dibs.)

Taxes

On the drive into work today, I was listening to NPR's Morning Edition, and I heard Corzine and Forrester (both NJ gubernatorial candidates) sniping at each other about if and how many times Corzine had voted to raise or cut taxes. The underlying assumption being, of course, that raising taxes is bad and cutting taxes good.

You know, of all the damage the conservative movement has done in the last thirty years, the promotion of the idea that taxes are inherently bad may be the worst. When I sit and think about the things tax dollars have created, I come up with the following:

• Interstate highways
• Social Security
• The Internet
• Public transportation
• Railroads
• The GI Bill
• Regulatory agencies like the FDA or OSHA
• Medicare
• Public schools
• Free libraries

I don't know about you, but I think these are pretty good things, as a whole. Sure, there's waste involved in each, but what organization, public or private, doesn't waste money? My gosh...I used to work at a law firm that wasted tons of money; I could tell you stories that would curl your hair.

No one is anxious to pay taxes, and yet almost nobody turns down a chance to grab government money. The most rock-ribbed Mississippi Republican will take every post-Katrina federal disaster-recovery dollar on which he can get his greedy hands. Big oil companies routinely lobby for federal subsidies. The airline industry practically lives on the public teat. When Uncle Sam wheels out the government trough, every little piggy, from richest to poorest, pushes his snout right in.

The issue, as I see it, is not the amount of tax we pay, but the value we receive. I don't mind handing over a dollar to the feds if I receive a dollar's value in return. Low taxes aren't by definition good, and high taxes aren't by definition bad, and I think there are a lot of Americans who would agree if the issue were properly presented.

New Blog Look

But don't get excited; I just used a template Blogger already created. That's the kind of can-do guy I am. I've also added comments, because a few people asked and it was easy. Again, can-do me.

So that this post is more than just an announcement of the obvious, let me share a job-interview experience I had last week. The interviewer, who was a Chatterbox (remember the categories?), told me that she'd recently had to fire a member of her team for an intractable, disruptive attitude. The interviewer had been with the company for less than a year when this happened, and the employee had been there for a bit more than four. She said she hated to do it, but that she had no choice.

Here's my question: Why would she tell this to an interviewee? Sure, one could interpret this as the tale of a good-hearted manager who, regrettably, was forced to terminate a long-term employee who for too long had gotten away with a bad attitude. One could also interpret this as the tale of a my-way-or-the-highway boss who came rampaging into the company and fired anyone who didn't agree with her management style. I don't know which interpretation is closer the truth, but you'd better believe that at a second interview I will endeavor to find out.*

You never, ever, ever say at an interview anything that could reasonably be interpreted negatively, and that goes for interviewers as well as interviewees. I've been told I am Minbari in my attitude of telling people only what I think they need to know, but in an interview situation I think that's an asset.** That termination story was something she didn't need to tell me, although I'm glad she did. Every bit of information helps in making a decision, should I receive an offer.

* It's interesting that Dan immediately took the positive interpretation and me the negative. I don't like to think about what the says about me.

** I am awfully close-mouthed at interviews, I admit. In fact, at this interview, two people complimented my tie, and I was about to say I receive many compliments about that tie, but I thought, "Umm...they don't need to know that." So I simply thanked them.

Another miscellany

The new "Battlestar Galactica" rocks! If you aren't watching it, you are a poor, poor person who must be taught the error of your ways. Forcibly, if necessary.

Unless you're living under a rock, you've heard that the grand jury released its report on the Archdiocese of Philadelphia sexual abuse scandal. I've read a good bit of it, and it's one of the most quintessentially disgusting things I've ever read. The case studies of abuse are bad enough, but the description of official obstruction are what really turn my stomach. This corruption goes all the way to the top, my friends, and it certainly doesn't stop with Cardinal Rigali, as the last pope demonstrated by rewarding Cardinal Law with an honored position at the Vatican. These are the folks who are supposed to be in a position to lecture to people about birth control, abortion, homosexuality, blah blah.

Speaking of homosexuality, the Church has revealed its plans to oust gay seminarians, apparently heedless that it's estimated that up to 58% of current Catholic priests are themselves gay. I like it when my political opponents so neatly slit their own wrists. If this nice cooperation would spread to, say, the Family Research Council, I'd be a happier guy.

Vampires and Society

Before we get started, here’s a pic of Spike and Drusilla, ‘cause they’re cool. They were the Sid and Nancy of the vampire set (at least until Joss Whedon ruined Spike’s character in Season 4), and they live on in my heart as my favorite undead couple. Admittedly, that’s a pretty limited subset, but there you go.

Dan and I were talking the other night about cultures, and Dan asked me the other night what makes a good culture. Now, I’ll freely admit that I’m not what you’d call a cultural relativist. Although I respect that different people have different cultures, I am willing to pronounce certain aspects of those cultures (even my own) wrong if I think they are. Anyway, I gave it some thought, and I came up with three elements I believe fundamental to good cultures. They are…

Diversity: The society is a welcoming place for people of various backgrounds: ethnic, economic, sexual, and intellectual. Citizens are not only free to be who they are, but to express these differences in art, music, academia and science.

Consistency: Citizens are treated in an even-handed fashion by their government, regardless of race, sex, religion, sexual orientation or economic status. They can reasonably expect fair and equitable treatment in all matters of law.

Community: Despite the diversity of the citizenry, the society possesses a strong sense of communal good. Citizens understand that individual fulfillment is inextricably linked with the public good, and that a society is measured by how well it treats its most disadvantaged members.

What you think?

For you God-fearin' folk...

You know, recent statements by Michael Marcavage (New Orleans got trashed by Katrina because gays are eeeeevil) have gotten me thinking about God and why He might send disasters. Admittedly, I'm an atheist, so I'm no authority on such matters, but consider this:

January 2001: George W. Bush inaugurated as President of the United States.
September 2001: Hijackers fly planes into the WTC, completely destroying both buildings in America's most devastating terrorist attack.

January 2005: George W. Bush re-inaugurated as President of the United States.
August 2005: Hurricane Katrina trashes much of Lousiana and Mississippi, in America's most devastating hurricane.*

See the connection? About nine months after we swear in George Bush, calamity strikes. Coincidence? Perhaps, or maybe it takes nine months, give or take a week, for God's administrative staff to process the Disaster Request Form. I'm thinking that the form was delayed in 2001 because, like most rational people, God was completely befuddled by the way Bush sleazed into office, and He fell behind on His paperwork. In 2005, however, God probably had all the forms filled out, signed, and placed in interoffice envelopes, just in case. The moment Ohio went for Bush, God just dropped that shit in His "out" box and His celestial staff took over.

I'm thinking God needn't have bothered. With a costly quagmire in Iraq, a record deficit, and skyrocketing healthcare costs, America's doing pretty well in the disaster department.

* I actually don't know if Katrina qualifies as America's most devastating hurricane, and I don't feel like looking it up. It was pretty damn bad, however, and anyone who thinks he/she can void the point I'm making by contradicting me in this petty way, well...you suck.

Walking Stuff

During my daily walks, I pass a church that offers daycare. They've now posted on the lawn a sign that announces this service that reads, "Child Transfer Center." Umm...doesn't that sound like a place where parents go to exchange their children for more compatible offspring?

Speaking of walking, have you ever noticed stupid walkers? These are pedestrians who walk in the wrong way. Since I do a lot of walking, this is one of my pet peeves. I find that stupid walkers fall into certain categories, thus described:

Slow-bees: These are the folks who move like molasses, taking about ten minutes to walk one block. They aren't normally a problem unless the path is narrow, or unless they're also Spacers (see below). Note that the elderly do not fall into this category, as they often can't go any faster. Only the deliberately slow can be Slow-bees.

Spacers: These fine folks insist upon taking their half of the sidewalk out of the middle, making it difficult if not impossible to get by them without walking in the street. On Market Street you can ignore Spacers, but on Pine or Spruce they can be most irritating. A Spacer who's also a Slow-bee is death.

Wrongways: In American society, most people stick to the right when they drive, or go through double doors, right? Not Wrongways! They go their own way, but not in an I'm-so-individual sort of way. In an annoying way. On a crowded street, you can tell a Wrongway by the path of disruption she leaves as she grimly forces her way against the natural flow of pedestrians. The path of least resistance is never good enough for a Wrongway.

Weavers: Normally, a person walking down the street does so in a fairly straight line, with only minor deviations to either side. A Weaver is one who swings first left, then right, with little consideration and no warning. Getting around them is tough because they might decide to cut directly into your path for no discernable reason. Cell phone users are notorious for weaving, but drunk people don't count because they often think they're walking straight. Their weaving is purely unintentional.

Stoppers: These are the twisted bastards who, for reasons often known only to them, stop dead in their tracks. You'll often see women doing this, halting dead in the middle of a crowded sidewalk to rifle through a purse, but men are frequent offenders as well, as are cell phone users of either sex. This is usually a problem only when the sidewalk is crowded and people are likely to be close enough to crash into the Stopper. (If you're close enough to crash into a Stopper on an empty sidewalk, you're a pervert. Yes.) Stoppers also cause problems at the base of escalators, blocking the way so that the escalator gets clogged with human backflow.

Unfortunately, stupid walkers rarely get their comeuppance, unless they are Wrongways on the Schuylkill River trail. Bikers who use the trail are normally pretty polite, unless you're fucking up the flow by weaving or wrongwaying. Then they unleash tongues as sharp as their bicycle-trained muscles.

Uhhh...

So a federal court says that the Bush administration can hold Jose Padilla - a US citizen suspected of terroristic activity indefinitely without benefit of a trial. Why would they want to hold him? Listen to this:

At the heart of the White House argument to keep a half-dozen terror figures in permanent lockup was its fear that a trial could result in their acquittals and permit them to return home and wage a violent campaign against the United States.

So we can't try him because a court might find him...not guilty? But if that happens, shouldn't be be allowed to go about his business? Did I wake up in Russia this morning?

A miscellany

Here's a pic of me at my company picnic. Wearing a Che-Guevera-style shirt was probably not the most prudent fashion choice, but I was feeling a bit rowdy that day. Ha-cha!

Note to Center City drivers: The lines painted on the roads mean that you should stay between them even when you're turning. Yes. If you get confused, think back to when you were a kid using coloring books; just stay within the lines.

Fall League starts Friday, which rocks! Although I'm not a very competitive person in general, I always look forward to two months of lung-busting, disc-slamming contests of will and muscle. I'm not all that concerned if my team wins (although that's nice too), but instead with achieving my personal best. That's pretty corny, I know, but true. Also, I think that there's only so far one can advance in a sport without the honing that competition provides. Whenever I play pickup I can almost instantly spot the difference between those who have played competitively and those who have not. The former have a certain canniness about how to move on the field that the latter just lacks. I'd like to think I have that canniness too. By the time November rolls around, I expect to have a bit more canniness. And shin splints.

Unfortunately, aforementioned league will keep me from Movie Night for nearly all of October and cause me to drop off the film list (which, as Vis Major well knows, was on the left-hand side).

One more thing about league is that I have to be...different when with my team. Believe it or not, the Philadelphia Area Disc Alliance (PADA) is pretty clannish, with everyone knowing everyone else, so I think the news about me being gay has spread around. I've never encountered any hostility or anything like that, but as a gay guy I have to be twice as tough and twice as uncomplaining to get half the respect given to the straight boys. Sad, but true.

Into the time machine of doom...

Check out this article. The most darling part is this:

Some caravan members called the anti-war protesters communists and said they were "aiding and abetting the enemy."

Oh...my...goodness. Communists?!? Are these people for real? Are we back in the 1950's, with good ol' Joe McCarthy and the House UnAmerican Activities Committee? It's been said that conservatives lost their political footing when the Soviet Union collapsed, and had to come up with a new "other" to ensure their relevance, and this little tidbit made me believe it. Apparently, some conservatives still think that communists are the other...them and anti-war protesters.

Madam George and Roses

Yup, I am off to sunny England for fun-filled time. England's not normally very sunny, although the weather forecast predicts no rain for the next five days, which is eerie since the last time I was there no rain fell either.

This will be an educational trip as well, since the English weather forecasts tell temperature in Celsius. That means I get to spend two minutes each morning multiplying by 1.8 and adding 32 to figure out if I need to wear jeans or shorts that day.

I also scored some drugs for the plane, to help ensure I am wrapped snugly in the arms of the Sandman whilst British Airways whisks me across the Atlantic. I got them from my mom, of all people, who is this weird intersection of liberal and conservative viewpoints. It's only Ambien, but still...my mom.

One more thing: With this post, I secure the coveted position of Movie Night Person Who Blogs Slightly More Often Than Tim. Woo-hoo!

At risk of sounding insensitive...

Given the most recent slew of US casualties in Iraq, I've been hearing on the radio, in newspapers, etc., an increasing discomfort with our engagement in Iraq. Today, a guy called into "Talk of the Nation" to say that he initially supported the invasion, but considering all of the deaths amongst our servicepeople, he thinks we need to pack it in.

Dummy! When His Fraudulency George W. Bush talked about invading a sovereign nation, what did he think the soldiers were going to do? Throw beanbags at each other? Of course soldiers are dying; that's what happens when armies fight. This chowderhead backed the invasion, but now he wants take-backs simply because people are dying. Fuck him. Maybe this man should have considered the possibility of casualties before he decided to applaud an ill-considered and poorly executed invasion.

Speaking of dummies, an Ohio woman who distantly knew one of the dead was burbling about how this man died so that she and her daughter could live free. Hmm. That statement proves two things: 1) the awesome power of the Republican spin machine; and 2) that man is definitely descended from the apes. The dumbest apes.

This brings me to another point. Bush's approval ratings are in the toilet, and the polls I've seen indicate that a majority of Americans are displeased with his handling of just about every national issue except perhaps the burning debate over squeezing the Charmin. This majority of necessity includes a good many of the same people who voted for Bush back in November, but now they want to complain? Sorry, but in my opinion that falls into the category of drinking from the cup your poured for yourself. Don't blame more sensible voters if you don't like the taste.

The universe mocks me.

The job market is so bad that I have stooped to considering temp jobs in faraway suburbs, the commute to which would most likely cost me more in time, aggravation and money than the job is worth. That's where my job hunt stands. Anyway, when calling about one such job (in Malvern, may the Seven protect me), I was placed briefly on hold, during which time I was treated to Whitney Houston's cover of "I Will Always Love You."

Not only was that the longest fifteen seconds in my life, but it was a little billet-doux from the universe that read, "Remember: Things can always seem worse."

A Great Idea

Hey, check out the Christian Exodus, which aims to move enough conservative Christians to South Carolina where they can muster the political power to turn the state into a theocracy.

Personally, I think this is a marvy idea, particularly since the commonwealth of Pennsylvania sends more students to Bob Jones University than any state other than Michigan and South Carolina itself. If we can help promote the Exodus, that will drain a good number of the kooks and slap-nuts out of Pennsylvania (and other states), leaving behind a saner electorate to make laws and elect politicians. In addition, sensible South Carolinians, rightly disturbed by this influx of loonies, will move to other states, thus increasing their not-crazy quotient. Finally, the Christian Exodus, if successful, will concentrate most of the God Squad in a single area that's easier to fence off, regulate, avoid, and, if necessary, nuke. I don't know about you, but I like my crazies right where I can see 'em.

(Note: For those who might be alarmed by the next-to-last sentence, I don't really want to destroy conservative Christians via nuclear power. However, given the bigoted nature of the Exodus' intended audience, I wouldn't shed a bitter tear if those fuckers wound up riding the rocket, either.)

It feels good, but is it?

Here's the situation. The NYPD is conducting random searches of the bags of would-be subway riders at selected stations. Those riders who choose not to submit to the search may leave the station, but may not board the train.

Let me see if I've got this right. Tom Terrorist is entering a subway station in Manhattan, and is stopped by a police officer who asks to look in his bag. Well aware he's carrying an explosive, Tom refuses. The nice officer asks Tom to leave, and Tom does so. He then walks five blocks uptown and boards the same train via an unguarded station, bomb at the ready.

How does this make anyone safer? Seems to me the only terrorists this screening will catch are those who wish to be caught, or who are foolish enough to attempt to force entry to a station. I don't claim these searches are unconstitutional, but I have to question their value. In fact, I could say the same of many of the security measures instituted since 9/11/01, except for the not-being-unconstitutional part. I sense that these steps are taken not to actually decrease the threat of terrorism, but to make we, the taxpayers, feel as though our government has things in hand. Truth be told, I'm more worried about what the government has firmly in hand (banning gay marriage, giving tax breaks to the wealthy, making the world safe for big business), than what it doesn't.

You know, I used to believe in the power of federal government to improve lives and make things fairer. After five-plus years of Republican power abuse, I'm now starting to believe in limited federal power and greater state control, because if I don't like what Pennsylvania does I can move across the mighty Delaware for relief. It's alot harder to move across the mighty Atlantic, you know?

The Media discovers spines.

The White House gets some tough questions. Check out this transcript of a White House press briefing, and watch McClellan wriggle his way out of answering the tough questions of a press that seems to have finally reawakened.

Heh...when they circle the wagons and dodge the questions, you know something's gonna hit the fan, and it's not sweet, sweet chocolate.

This one is rich

Politics is often amusing, but the recent pay raise for the Pennsylvania legislature has provided me a good chuckle. Here's what I consider to be the highlight of the article...

"We deserve it," Rep. Frank Oliver (D., Phila.) said as he walked out the House chamber at 2 a.m. moments after the body voted, 119-79, for the raise. "See what time we are getting out right now."

And I imagine he said this with a straight face.

Yay Slate!

I saw this really neat article on Slate today. Here are some of the highlights, and my commentary on same.

"Instead of ratcheting up the threat level and along with it public fears, Chertoff should have told Americans what he most certainly knows: that national security officials and local police have been worried about a subway or train attack since last year's bombings in the Madrid transit system, and that they have little reason to be more worried now."

Yup. (I realize that's not much commentary. Live with it.)

"Look at how the British are handling these attacks. Their endurance of the Irish Republican Army's 30-year terror campaign has made them masters at picking up the pieces after an attack and moving on. Did they institute a national alert today? No. Did they close down the subways indefinitely? No. Some theaters canceled shows scheduled for tonight, but that was a small and sensible measure taken to lessen the pressures on London's transportation system as it stretched to the limit to get people home from work. Could we possibly expect this sort of sane moderation had Los Angeles been the bombers' target rather than London?"

Nope. All air traffic into and out of the West Coast would likely have been stopped, Congress would have gone into special session and Tom DeLay would probably have called for Arab-American internment camps.

"In addition, the attack revealed the limits of the terrorists' technical capabilities. The bombings involved relatively crude and conventional weapons. They were no more sophisticated than the twin African bombings of 1998 in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and Nairobi, Kenya, which suggests that for all their claims, the jihadists don't yet have weapons of mass destruction."

And yet in America the very word "terrorist" prompts people to yank their kids out of school, give up their constitutional rights, and vote Republican. Personally, I'm more worried that the jokers working the TSA security line at the airport will put me on the do-not-fly list because they take a dislike to me than I am that a terrorist will try to blow me away. After all, my chances of running into a terrorist at the Philadelphia International Airport are almost zero, whereas I am 100% certain that I'll have to deal with the TSA.

By overpromising security—and implying that Democrats neither understood terrorism nor were prepared to fight it—the Bush administration has given itself little choice but to overshoot in response to any terrorist attack anywhere. Chertoff's response today was about one thing: cover. If there is an attack on the Washington Metro tomorrow, the federal government will be able to say to commuters, "Well, we warned you."

I'm sure glad that our government is engaged in a game of cover-your-ass. Next they'll call the Democrats poopyheads, or Bill Frist will challenge Harry Reid to a fight in the schoolyard at recess. Mother of all creatures great and small.

By the way...for what it's worth, a big "yay!" to the people of the city of London, who showed maturity and grit in response to these dreadful bombings. I only know one Englishman well, but I see that his levelheadedness is not uncommon among his countrymen.

Now I say something about London...

I'm going to London (which is my favorite place in the universe) in a few weeks, and the news today about the bombs hit me fairly hard. It hit me hard in two ways. First, the fact that (at least) 10 people are dead and anothger 150 who set out for work today are now in hospitals with I-don't-want-to-think-about-what injuries. Second...well, my friend Gary said it best:

"Our irresponsible action in Iraq has served only to provide cause and training grounds to those who are determined commit such acts."

He was talking about his own government, but the same could be said of mine.

Terrorists are running around like jackals, blowing up buses and ramming planes into buildings, and the world's sole remaining superpower is fucking around in Iraq in a conflict that is only tangentially related, if at all, to anti-terrorism efforts. This would make an interesting novel, but in real life it just sucks.

My San Francisco Diary (or Six Days Without a Hairbrush)

Thursday: Became intimately familiar with Terminal D of the Philadelphia International Airport, since I spent lots of time there waiting for a flight that was five hours late departing. When we finally got to San Francisco, it was too late for anything but tasty, tasty Thai food and Yerba Buena Gardens.

Friday: Discovered that, touristy or not, the Alcatraz tour is well worth it. Also discovered that the wind off San Francisco is chill enough to necessitate long pants and sweatshirts, even in June. Went to a thoroughly enjoyable and thoroughly hokey variety show called “Beach Blanket Babylon”, the novelty enhanced by the guy in the bathroom who looked as if he'd just snorted a line. Nice.

Saturday: Went museum-hopping, and discovered the wax Eminem is waaay better than the real one, and nearly as cute. Got hit on by a waiter who said I reminded him of a Chilean economist he once knew. (Apparently, that’s a compliment on the West Coast.) Watched the Dyke March that night, which featured many naked boobies. Whilst wandering the packed Castro afterwards, a guy grabbed my butt, and then said he was sorry. Could not determine if that was, “Sorry I was forward,” or, “Sorry that wasn’t a better experience for me.” My ego required that I settle on the former.

Sunday: Watched the Pride parade, which seemed nearly as large as New York’s. THIS parade, however, had marchers as specific as “Gay Chemists for Socialism.” Hmm. Off to the Exploratorium, where I got to crawl through the Tactile Dome, which is completely lightless and very obstacle-course-like. It was like playing Dungeons & Dragons, except I wasn't sitting at a table stuffing Cheese Doodles into my face.

Monday: Ventured outside the city to UC Berkeley, where liberalism lives. Re-discovered that making fun of liberals is nearly as fun as making fun of conservatives. Explored Muir Woods, where the trees are large and the trails narrow and high. (Good thing I am sure-footed.) Swung through Sausalito and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, which that day was nearly completely sheathed in fog. Dropped by the Castro that evening where I found a bar doing an 80’s night. Was reminded just how bad “Valley Girl” really is. A cute bartender (who looked like Yagathai!) struggled hard to remember how to make a Shirley Temple. A manly drink.

Tuesday: Stole food from hotel for flight, which was fortunate since the plane took off two hours late. Ugh. Invented "Snookums Razor", which states:

When you have refused to consider all rational options, all that remains is the completely insane.

Watched “The Pacifier” in flight. Was grateful that the TSA made certain there were no cutting implements on board, lest I decide to commit suicide rather than finish watching that movie. Landed in Philadelphia where it was hot and soupy, and not in a tasty-minestrone kind of way.

Oh, and I made do for the entire trip without a hairbrush.

A Neat Thing I Saw

I was driving home from work with Dan, and stopped on the 676 off-ramp at 8th Street we saw a homeless guy going from car to car, begging for money. The car behind me contained two men, one of whom (the passenger) had his leg propped up on the door, his bare foot sticking out the open window. The homeless guy paused in his begging to give the guy's little toe a tweak, and even said "cootchie-coo" whilst he did it.

I would have given him five bucks easy for that show, but he didn't come back to my car. His toe-tweaking thus went unrewarded.

Hmmm...

I work in Bala Cynwyd, and there's a tow company out here called "Main Line Hooker Service." If they ever make a t-shirt that reads, "Main Line Hooker", I'm snatching it up.

Bala Cynwyd is an interesting place to work, BTW. During my daily lunchtime walks I see black and/or non-native women walking babies or old women. At 5pm you see all those women walking back to City Avenue to get the bus. During the aforementioned walks I see giant stone houses, each with its own set of SUV's. One house boasts two SUV's and a Hummer. (Evidently, getting 12 miles to the gallon was far too efficient for these folks.) Also, a the local deli I get to rub elbows with women whose handbags are worth more than the blue book value of my car. Admittedly, most packs of gum are worth more than the blue book value of my car, but it still makes me feel quite the plebian.

Yeah, George, I know

Has anyone else noticed that GWB spends alot of time reminding us that he's the president? I can't tell you how many times I've heard him on the radio saying, "I was elected to do such-and-such" or "I'm the president, and it's my job to do this or that." Hey George, I suspect most Americans remember the 2004 election, and I for one will never forget the election in 2000. Are you reminding us, or yourself?

Let me tell you something I learned long ago about leadership. A crappy leader wears his authority like a crown, perched up high for all to see, attracting as much attention as possible. A real leader wears her authority like an everyday suit of clothing, unassuming and normal, but nonetheless present and real. A leader who feels it necessary to remind people he's in charge is no leader at all.

This is one instance in which I am not happy to be proven absolutely correct.

::Shakes head::

I've been reading on a posting board comments about the revelation of Deep Throat's identity, and in more than one was expressed the opinion that Felt was a traitor. Yep. You got it. Revealing the criminal activities of the White House is now treason. I can only assume that the Neanderthals who hold these opinions believe that it's wrong for the White House to engage in criminal activity.

This is dismaying, but not truly surprisingly. Hell, even Vietnam, that quagmire in which the US poured thousands of Americans' worth of blood has been recast as a good fight in which our only mistake was pulling out before we won. I expect Karl Rove to say stuff like that; after all, he has something to gain by promoting historically blind bullshit. I am saddened and amazed that the American people increasingly buy it.

Although I have always been and remain an optimist when it comes to people, let me say we in America are due to reap a very, very bitter harvest. And, boy, do we have it coming.

Grumble, grumble...

Stupid parking lot people! I'm a hale old veteran of the complain-to-get-free-stuff scene, but these folks ain't budging. That's OK...there is more than one way to skin a cat. (Sorry Cyn, but there is.) Now I switch to Plan B: Begin a campaign of constant nagging that never rises to an objectionable level but is extraordinarily annoying nonetheless. It might get me nowhere, but I'll enjoy the trip. :-)

My bro lent me the director's cut of "JRK", and I managed to watch about one-third of it before hitting the sack. BTW, let me just say for the record that portable DVD players rock, particularly when you use your boyfriend's for which you paid nothing. Just in case you were wondering.

Good weekend, BTW. In reverse, here's what I learned.

- Egg nog ice cream is tasty with chocolate cake. (But then, isn't anything?)
- Conshohocken sucks, even if nice people live there.
- Positano's tiramisu is not the equal of Dan's mom's.
- Meat pies made from corpses can be fun! (Although I'll bet they don't go well with chocolate cake.)

Oh, and I heard A Feast for Crows is finally on its way to becoming a real book, and not just something for which I've waited for five years. Yay!

Tee-hee!

I heard about this on NPR this morning, and I laughed my head off. I realize that punishing sexual offenders is all the rage nowadays, but this is just silly. Personally, I don't care if sexual offenders use Medicaid to get Viagra or not, but to imagine that officials were "scrambling" to prevent it...well, that explains my laughter. I'm pleased that our elected officials are focused on important things like whacking sexual offenders into the dirt and pissing contests over judicial nominees, and not on trivialities like falling wages, the rising cost of health care and the mounting death toll in Iraq.

BTW, if you're wondering right now why I'm taking the side of sexual offenders, you are thinking foolishly or not at all.

Girding for battle!

Heh...my parking garage lost power this weekend, trapping my car inside when I needed it. I was amazed that a business that runs mostly on 19th century technology has, apparently, no way to manually raise a gate to allow cars to leave, and I told them so. Anyway, today I phoned to speak with the manager about it, and to my delight she put the phone down on her desk, refusing to speak with me, and then left it off the hook, thus foiling callbacks.

Evidently, this chick doesn't realize with whom she's dealing. I mentally spat on my hands and got down to business, relishing this fight the way I might a chocolate-covered graham cracker. After about twenty minutes of some high-powered telephoning, I had the name of the manager's boss, that boss's boss, and his boss, although I am disappointed to report I didn't get to speak with any of those folks today. That's OK. In these situations, you can usually turn delay to your advantage, so waiting 24 hours is nothing. I'm going for a month's free parking...I'll post updates as things transpire.

Oh, I saw "Sith" again last night, and enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time. Sarcasmo, however, pointed out that the Obi-Wan/Anakin saber fight would have been much more interesting had they fought it barechested. If that fight could also include spandex shorts, I concur.

Gasp...sputter...choke...

Newsweek relied on less-than-trustworthy sources in printing a false story that caused the US some embarrassment, and the Bush administration goes nuts. The Bush administration relied on less-than-trustworthy sources in promoting a war that caused the deaths of more than 1600 American soldiers.

Now, with that in mind, understand my stunned disbelief at what I'm hearing on NPR's "Radio Times" as callers complain about the reckless media. Bush got it wrong about war and he got rewarded in November 2004. Newsweek got it wrong about flushing a book down a toilet and people are assembling the crucifixion tools. Does this cause anyone else to want to run bitch-slapping down Market Street?

BTW, "Revenge of the Sith" was quite good. Of course the dialogue sucked and the characters flat, but that's a part of the "Star Wars" legacy so get over it. Good action, good visuals, and a nice completion to a story begun nearly thirty years ago, may the Seven protect us. Go see it.

Back to politics. Until now, I've been operating under the uneasy conclusion that Bush and Company did not lie about Iraq; rather, they looked at the data in a very biased manner and read there what they wanted to read. I'm beginning to suspect, however, that I've been far too generous in my estimation of their behavior. I think they knew, or at least suspected strongly, that there was no real cause for war other than, "We wanna get that Saddam guy." I think they hoped they'd find evidence of WMD's, and they carefully crafted the intelligence to make it seem as though such evidence existed. Yeah, yeah, I know that even Bill Clinton believed those weapons existed, but keep in mind that Bill Clinton didn't try to invade Iraq either. Maybe he knew that his administration could not meet the high standard of evidence required to justify the historically unprecedented step of preemptively invading another sovereign nation. Unless, you know, they cooked the evidence.

Hans Blix and his UN compatriots, who were in Iraq just before the invasion, said they weren't finding the weapons Bush said he was sure were there. A prudent leader would have taken this warning to heart, and stayed his hand until confirming evidence emerged. That did not happen. Bush charged ahead, evidence (or lack of same) be damned After the invasion, a humble leader would have admitted the intelligence was bad and taken responsibility for the mistakes of his administration. That did not happen. Bush instead blamed the CIA, and all of his lieutenants pointed out that "grave and gathering", which is how Bush described Iraq's threat potential, was not the same as "imminent." Given this colossal blunder, a wise leader would have learned that military force should be used only extremely reluctantly. That certainly did not happen. Bush is now rattling the saber against Iran, and perhaps next against Syria.

Bush is not prudent, humble, or wise, and I'm starting to think he's not even honest. He lied.

Ick, ick, ick

There's a woman in my office who was morbidly obese and very dedicated to losing weight. I appreciate that. In my opinion, everyone should have a healthy concern about his/her health. This woman decides to have her stomach stapled. I tried to be open-minded about this, but I can't get past, "Are you out of your fucking skull?"

I realize that stomachs can shrink and expand according to one's habitual food intake, and I am sure that can present a hurdle for those accustomed to eating large amounts who are now trying to cut back. However, there's got to be a better way to overcome that hurdle that getting a doctor to surgically seal off part of your stomach. Really. Try yoga, or meditation, or appetite suppressants, or perhaps something as blazingly brilliant as willpower. That's a cheaper, safer, and healthier alternative to non-medically-necessary surgery.

I lost 40 pounds myself back in 1997, so I know that losing weight isn't easy. It requires time, commitment, and a brand-new approach to eating. It does not, however, require a scalpel, anesthesia, and catgut. I suggest that the first three are easier, safer, and in the long run, a more permanent solution to obesity.

Yay me!

I just checked the NJIT Web site, and discovered that I got a big ol' "A" in my design class. Not bad, considering I approached this course with all the enthusiasm of a 14-year-old disinherited Targaryen princess facing marriage to a fearsome Dothraki khal. (For the uninitiated, that's really reluctant.) You can look here for samples of my work, if you're interested.

Since beginning grad school, I have been surprised by the relative incompetence of many of my classmates. I used to have this quaint notion that grad school weeded out those undergrads who were genuinely motivated and talented from those who merely knew how to work the rules. More fool I. Some of the work displayed by my classmates has been, well, fairly amateurish, and in a few cases not worth even of an undergraduate. Dan says he found much the same thing when he was earning his Master's. I don't know if that means we are very talented, or that lots of our peers just suck.

My thoughts on a bad movie

Yesterday I had a yen to see a bad movie, so off to TLA I went. On the way, I decided that I wanted something in the man versus nature genre, so I selected "The Day After Tomorrow." Premise: Mankind, having fucked up the planet with pollutants and what have you, gets bitch-slapped by the green hand of Mother Nature with another ice age.

This movie is everything a bad Hollywood movie should be. It has a cheesy lead actor (Dennis Quaid), an unlikely premise (an ice age develops in three days), and a boring but non-offensive romance (the protaganist's son and some chick). As you know, many Hollywood action flicks use the old disaster-force-is-right-behind-you scene. Sometimes that force is rushing water, the flames of an explosion, or lava...doesn't matter which. In "Day After", it was temperature. Yes. Coldness was chasing them down a hallway. I guess that's exciting...to stupid people! This movie also had the moment of selfless heroism, in which a character sacrifices himself so that the rest may live. Dennis Quaid and I both screamed "No!"; he with anguish, me with delight. Finally, the film had the requisite moral message, which was "pollution bad."

Perhaps my favorite part of this film was the appearance of the wolves, who having escaped from the NYC zoo earlier in the film, showed up at the most opportune moment. Not only were the wolves rendered in bad CGI, they were clearly evil. Even caged and well fed at the movie's beginning they were vicious; by the time Manhattan was a frozen tundra they were downright malevolent. And rather slow and clumsy, I might add. Jake Gyllenhaal is cute, but he ain't outrunning a real wolf pack without divine assistance, nor is he likely to fool them with the old "fake left, go right" maneuver.

Anyway, the film was thoroughly bad and thoroughly enjoyable. Thank you, Mr. Emmerich, for making the kind of pablum that keeps the crowds out of my independent movie house. Keep it up, chum.

My thoughts on libertarianism

Ugh...remember, my blog, my rules, so no one is allowed to get offended by this post.

I'm listening to a debate on health care, and one of the debaters is from the Cato Institute. Predictably, he thinks private health accounts are the solution. Naturally, he doesn't have an answer for those folks who are too poor to put away any significant amount of money. His response brings to mind what I find is a certain naivete among libertarians. It's easy to say, "Hey, if you can't afford your own health care, you go without," but that is simply not realistic in terms of today's America. Very few Americans are going to cold-bloodedly condone leaving people to die, so what happens is that those who can't afford health care simply go on welfare and use Medicaid. That, or they use ER care, which is alot more expensive than preventative care. Either way, the taxpayers are footing the bill, so I say let's foot the bill in the most fiscally and morally responsible way and just figure out some way to insure everybody.

Truth be told, I find the libertarian point of view a bit naive in general, at least where it concerns government regulation. Think of the many ways the government has regulated the free market: workplace safety, child labor, minimum wage, anti-trust ...do any of these seem bad? Would anyone seriously argue that these governmental interventions have made society worse? I realize that governmental action has not always been well intentioned or well executed, but at the same time I don't think regulation is the monster in the closet, either.

Just what you wanted! Advice!

This post is about advice for drivers and pedestrians. Enjoy!

Pedestrians:
- If you don’t use the crosswalk when crossing the street, drivers making a turn often cannot see you until the last moment. Considering that most cars dramatically outweigh most pedestrians, that’s bad.

- Jaywalking in high-traffic areas is advisable only when you’re willing and able to run.

- You’re allowed to cross on green and yellow, but not on red. Red means you wait.

- Shouting, cursing, or giving the finger to a person in command of a vehicle that is stronger, faster, and harder than you is a bad idea. Really bad.

Drivers:
- Signal your turns before you make them, not as you make them.

- Yielding to pedestrians means more than not injuring them. It means that they get to cross on a green light before you get to turn on it. If you don’t like that, take it up with the legislature and not with pedestrians.

- You’re allowed to proceed on green and yellow, but not on red. Red means you stop.

- Tailgating is never, ever a good idea. No matter how quickly you think you can brake, it’s probably not quick enough.

Ack!

Sometimes I Google my name, but today I decided to Google my name in Google images.

My picture was the first hit. And it's a bad picture. Save me.

The lesson for the day...

I don’t know why this memory came to me, but here it is. Eight or nine years ago, when I used to work in Center City (oh, happy day!), I stopped into a stationery store to buy a fancy-shmancy pen. The boy behind the counter was pretty cute and, so I thought, about my age. Being single at the time and very flirty, I employed conversational gambit #1, which involved asking if he graduated from my high school in 1987. Of course I knew he didn’t, but it was something to say. He stared and replied, “No…God, do I look that old?”

I glared. “Uh, I am that old.” He stammered an apology, probably thinking I was going to complain to the manager or something, and I took my leave. As soon as I hit the street I found that he’d given me too much change, as if I’d given him a twenty instead of a five. Now I had a decision to make: Let that smartass kid get toasted for his own mistake when they totted up the registers, or be charitable and return the money.

Oddly, I chose charity. I went back in, found him, handed over the money and explained to him what had happened. He said, “Wow…thanks! That was really nice of you, especially since I called you…uh…”

“Old,” I said flatly. “You called me old.”

See what charity gets you?

Another miscellany

Yesterday, while at the Equality Forum street festival, I stopped to listen to Repent America. In case you didn’t know, they’re one of the Christian groups that appears at every gay pride event and tells us how bad we are. Anyway, the leader of the group was saying that, in a Muslim nation, we wouldn’t be allowed to have this event, presumably to showcase how loving Christians are. I thought, “Hmm…saying you’re better than Osama bin Laden really isn’t much of a recommendation.” I think Repent America needs to work on their image, because the tag line, “Better than those wacky Muslim fanatics” just isn’t working.

Can I say how glad I am to be an atheist? I don’t need to go to boring weekly rituals, or abstain from certain foods on certain days, or give up anything (like chocolate or soda) to show how pious I am, or be forgiving of my enemies. That last one really comes in handy during debates with Christians, too, particularly if they’re of the crazy fundamentalist Christian variety. You know they just want to smack you, but since they think God’s watching they can’t.

Hey Movie Night folks!

I made the first post on the Movie Night blog in more than a year, so go read it!

Ha!

I opened my thesaurus today to the page on which "bumpkin" resides, and I see the synonym listed was "clodhopper." I find this enormously amusing.

More miscellany

I just found out that Dhaka, the capital of Bangledesh, is home to nearly 3.5 million people. Who knew there were that many people in the whole nation, much less the capital?

I just turned down a third interview for a job in Conshohocken. Although the job sounded challenging (in a good way), I just couldn't deal with that commute on a daily basis. Also, I currenly work in Nowhereville; I certainly wasn't looking forward to driving 50 minutes to work in a nowhereville that's more traffic-choked and even further away. I phoned up the HR rep and respectfully withdrew my application, and that usually gives me a charge but this time it didn't. Sigh.

I have another interview today, in a place even more remote than Conshohocken. Why did I bother accepting the interview? I'm asking myself the same thing. Kill me.

Moral but not legal

That's the title of my letter to the Inquirer editor, which you can read here.

This kind of stuff really troubles me. The state can't begin providing legal protection to this moral viewpoint but not that one, but of course you can't tell that to the LaHayes of the world.

Film Festival Redeemed!

I saw my fifth and final film last night, "The Edukators", and in it the film festival has won its way back into my heart. This German film doesn't have the most original storyline, perhaps, but it tells the story very well. The actors are very good, very real, and very likable, and even the "bad guy" leaves you feeling ambivalent. (One of the actors is cute as a button, too, which never hurts.) The soundtrack rocked, too, except for Jeff Buckley's cover of "Alleluia." I've got nothing against Jeff Buckley, but I've heard that damned song covered at least three times in the last five years, and given that I never liked it in the first place, by now I am really tired of it.

I think this movie will appear at the Ritz at some point, or at least on DVD, so watch out for it. Not in a it's-coming-to-get-you sort of way. In a good way.

A blogger's miscellany

Yesterday in work I was passing through the elevator lobby when a coworker said, "Hey, you've got a bit of toilet paper on your shoe." I checked and discovered it was neither toilet paper nor on my shoe; it was a fabric softener sheet poking out of one leg of my jeans. (It still smelled dryer-fresh, too.) Should I be more or less embarrassed than if it had been toilet paper?

I'm angry that the "Pretty in Pink" sequel was merely a hoax.

A woman driving a newer Corolla than mine nearly forced me off the road today. Not out of malice, mind you; she just wasn't paying attention to her driving and she changed lanes without looking. I was in that lane, and my repeated horn-honking had no effect on her behavior. I'd been following her for about a mile, and inattention was pretty characterstic of her driving style. Say what you will about my driving, but when operating a motor vehicle I always have my mind on the road. Unlike the guy I saw this morning driving whilst reading a newspaper. Sigh.

I had another interview this week, and a call about yet another. That will make six so far in 2005, but I'm starting to get Interview Overexposure Disorder (IOD). Some of the symptoms of IOD are extreme indifference to typos on a job application, and growing impatience with the question, "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" I've begun to toy with answering in a number of unorthodox ways.

- "Um, I'm pretty lackadaisical about getting in on time."
- "I tend to slack off when I'm not being watched."
- "Internet porn has an unholy grip on me."
- "Rage. Uncontrollable, unreasoning rage."

I can't really say any of these things, and none of them are true anyway. (Except for the rage.)

To attend this interview I was in an office building yesterday for the second time, and for the second time the security guard was absent from the station that featured a sign admonishing visitors to sign in. I guess building management is primarily focusing on protecting its tenants from threats like Mothra or Ghidra instead of something outrageous like, say, a person with a gun. How would Mothra sign in? Would Ghidra sign in three times? How would they fit into the lobby, much less the elevator?

Speculating about how security would react to one or more of Godzilla's nemeses is another sympton of IOD.

Film Festival Blues

Ugh...this film festival hasn't worked out very well for me. I've seen four films (Cellar, Quiet as a Mouse, Right Now, and Frozen), and none of them impressed me. Actually, I should tell you I tried to see "Frozen", but the festival switched the venue at the last minute and only told people who were there 15 minutes early. I arrived only 5 minutes early, so I got stuck with a different movie.

You're saying, "Couldn't you tell from the title or content that this was the wrong movie?" I was putting my book away and I missed the title, and to be honest I didn't realize the content was, uh, different, until about ten minutes into the film. When I pick movies I tend to forget what they're about in the interval between reading about them in the catalog and going to see them. Anyway, this was a French film (obviously I don't know the title) about sexual perversion. Now, you'd think that a French film about sexual perversion could not possibly be boring, right? Wrong! It was ninety minutes that seemed like three hours, and I can't tell you how many people left the film early. The movie was dreadful, just dreadful, easily the worst film I have ever seen at the festival.

Being the ornery sucker I am, I phoned the festival office yesterday and asked what the hell happened. They admitted they didn't advertise the change in venue the way they should have, and I was like, "You think?" Those of you who know me know that when I feel I've been burned on a service for which I have paid, I go for the gold. I've gotten free shipping from UPS, free service from Comcast, free charges from FirstUSA, free food from Houlihans (for what it's worth), and once got a $75 credit from Verizon. I do this by taking the issue in my teeth, digging in my heels, and shaking it, dog-like, until my victim screams for mercy. Not literally, of course; in real life this translates to me making phone call after phone call until the organization finally pays me off to get me out of their hair. I contemplated giving the festival the old pit-bull treatment and demanding a refund for the "Frozen" ticket plus another free ticket for my time. I am usually pleased with the festival, however, so I held off.

If I may digress (and it's my blog, so I may), I once got a $100 credit from FirstUSA in a way I found pretty amusing. I wasted the requisite amount of time with the customer service folks, whose job it is not to solve your problem but to put you off, and then I got serious. I found an old marketing letter I'd gotten from FirstUSA, took note of the name of the veep who'd signed it, then got dialing the corporate office. I got a recording that asked me to enter the name of the person I was trying to reach, and of course Veep's didn't register. I put in "Smith", and sure enough I got poor Patty on the phone. Here's the conversation:

Patty: "Accounting, Patty speaking. Can I help you?"
Me: "Oh...hello. (Feigning confusion). My name is [insert name] with MP Industries, and I had a conference call with [veep name] but I think your receptionist misconnected me."
Patty: (Sounding eager to please) "I'm sorry...please hold on and I'll connect you."
Me: "Thank you Patty. May I have the direct dial in case the transfer doesn't go through?"
Patty: "Certainly, sir."

Well, let me tell you that Veep was pretty surprised to hear from me. He was very polite and accommodating, but of course he asked me how on earth I'd gotten through the phone net. I just smiled and said that I thought it was more important to focus on solving the problem instead of talking about the past, and he dropped it.

The lesson of this post is: Lying is good.

The New Interview

I had another job interview yesterday. Yes, another. I've had five since January, and not a job offer among 'em. I know you could say that so many potential employers wanting to meet me is a good thing, and it is, but you could also say that someone who's tried to do something five times and failed should try something else. Would you go to a doctor who failed his certification exams five times? I'm not easily intimidated (some might say "not ever intimidated"), so I persevere.

The job sounded good, although it's in this almighty terrible office park in Conshohocken. If you haven't been to Conshohocken, picture all the traffic of Center City without interesting shops and restaurants and you've got it. The interviewer was clearly impressed with me and said so, but, still jaded from my last experience, I just thought, "Uh-huh." What bothered me most was the way they were trying to hurry along the process, and at my expense. Apparently, their client is pushing for more work, which necessitates a fast hire. In response, here's what I wanted to say:

"I appreciate the fact that you're under pressure to fill this position, but I refuse to be rushed in making any kind of life decision of this magnitude. I already have a job, and the pressure your client is placing on you doesn't mean that much to me. In short, this is your problem, not mine."

What I did say:

"It might be possible to speed up the timetable, depending on how the rest of the process develops."

Isn't that statement just dreadful? It includes everything but says nothing, which, come to think of it, describes most of what you have to say in interviews anyway. Sort of like the crap that comes out of the White House these days, except the bullshit I spewed at yesterday's interview didn't get anyone killed. As far as I know.

Reversed Expectations

Sunday I felt like I'd been hit several times with a desk, so I rented two movies: "The Toolbox Murders" and "Dog Soldiers." I'd heard a recommendation for the former, and the latter looked fun in a bad-movie sort of way, so I prepared myself for an afternoon of good couch-potato times.

First, the good news. "Dog Soldiers" was about soldiers vs. werewolves, and it was a rollicking good time. I'm a sucker for werewolf movies, but this one surpassed my low expectations in terms of quality. The crown jewel of the film is when one soldier takes on a werewolf in hand-to-hand combat and kicks its hairy ass. Another werewolf had to intervene to save its packmate and finally take the guy down. How embarrassing is that if you're a werewolf? Can you picture the other werewolves gathering around the water cooler: "Did you hear Bill got his hairy ass kicked by a human? If Janine hadn't stepped in things would have gotten worse than they did, and you know the corporate office heard about it. Yeah...he'll be pack leader someday."

Now for the bad. "Toolbox Murders" was dreadful, just dreadful. No, it was execrable. I was wary of this film because "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" was so bad, but I thought, "Nobody can make two entirely boring horror films." Wrong! I can accept plot holes and even unlikely methods of killing people, but these things should occur in an atmosphere of at least moderate tension. The only tension involved in this film was my finger pressing the fast forward button. I vow to never again pay to see a movie in which Tobe Hooper is involved. It's my small way of improving the world.

Job Interviews CAN be fun!

I was at a job interview yesterday, but since I was 90% sure I didn’t want to work for this company it was very low-pressure. Amazing how calm you can be when you’re facing something that has no realistic chance of working out. Anyway, this was a very interesting interview, and here’s how it went.

I met first with the HR rep, who not only asked me the same old out-of-the-book questions, but she asked them off a photocopied form. See, I didn’t even rate my own form. I have glowing letters of reference from my last two employers, but when I handed them over she didn’t even glance at them, finding the letters handier as scratch paper. Yep…she used ‘em to take notes. Another interviewer might have found it useful to review the written commentary of previous employers, but this one really needed scratch paper. Clearly, I was simply Candidate #7, which was OK with me as that’s often the treatment you get from the HR folks. It was brief, which was the best I could ask for the HR portion of the interview.

I was then interviewed by the department head, who had neat purple-tinged hair, big ol’ fish eyes, and an expression that would have made the Sphinx seem smiley. As you might remember from one of my previous posts, the Sphinx is a type of interviewer, and she certainly resembled one, but this one was actually closer in demeanor to the Adversary. She asked me some common trip-you-up sort of questions, most of which I’d heard before, although she did get me on one. I recovered fairly well, I thought, and then she asked if I had questions for her. At that point, something subtle and wicked came over me, something I’d never previously experienced. I knew by then I didn’t want this job, but I decided that I was going to make this bitch sweat. So I asked questions:

“What qualities does the ideal candidate for this position possess?”

This was just a setup, to lull her into a false sense of security. Then I went on to:

“Is this a new position? If not, what happened to the previous project editor?”

This is where she began to get uncomfortable, and, sensing blood, I pressed on:

“On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least stress and 10 being the most stress, what level of stress do you think the project editor experiences, on average?”

I hit home on this one, as evidenced by the nervous laugh the question elicited. She recovered pretty well, I’ll give her that, but I wasn’t finished. Oh no.

“You said previously that the project editor would not report to you, but to one of your staff. How would you describe that person’s management philosophy?”

She flubbed this one by admitting that the person in question was a demanding perfectionist, something you never want to admit to a potential employee. While she lamely tried to cover this gaffe, I lunged for the kill:

“What advice would you offer the new project editor on his or her first day on the job?”

She stammered out something fairly flat, and made obvious moves to end the interview by gathering up papers, picking up her pen, etc. I considered toasting her a bit longer, but I decided to let it go. After all, a victory is as good as a massacre, right?

On second thought…a victory may be as good as a massacre, but massacres are still fun, and I'm sorry I passed up this one. Maybe they’ll call me back for a second interview...

What's the Matter with America?

I’ve been thinking today about a book I read, called, What’s the Matter with Kansas? How Conservatives Won the Heart of America. Written by Thomas Frank, this book is an insightful look into why Republicans have managed to win the votes of the very people their policies screw so manifestly. It’s a great book I highly recommend.

Anyway, Frank coins a term he calls the plen-T-plaint. Unlike complaints, the plen-T-plaint is a gripe that has no fundamental basis, although it certainly has a target. There are all kinds of plen-T-plaints, usually seen in terms of political correctness. A child sues his school district because he was assigned homework for the summer. A woman cries sexual harassment because she is complimented on the color of her sweater. An artist dunks a picture of Jesus in a jar of urine and wants public funding for doing so. As you can no doubt see, these gripes have one thing in common: They’re all examples of liberal outrages. The point of the plen-T-plaint is not to engender discussion, but to get voters riled up and, hopefully, voting Republican.

Are there bona-fide examples of liberal silliness? Unquestionably. However, this silliness is presented not as ludicrous and ignorable, but as a pernicious example of the corrupting influence of liberal philosophy on American society. Liberals have very little influence over the national government, which is solidly controlled by Republicans, and yet to listen to Bill O’Reilly you’d think the US was under the iron Birkenstock of the Berkeley crowd. It’s dishonest and distracting, but it’s a great way to reap a harvest of votes for Republican candidates, isn’t it?

Let’s be honest about these outrages. They mean little, harm almost no one, and affect nothing. However, conservative outrages, which do more harm, receive no attention from the Anne Coulter set. Want to write anti-gay discrimination into the nation’s founding document? Sure! Want to ban the teaching of a scientific theory accepted by every reputable scientist everywhere in the world? No problem! Want to give taxpayer dollars to religious organizations to fund jobs from which many of the taxpayers will be banned? Sign me up! Personally, I find these little crusades much more disturbing than the occasional frivolous lawsuit or a baseless accusation of sexual harassment.

I tend to have a pretty solid faith in humanity, but the plen-T-plaint, and the way it has resonated in modern times, has given that faith a nice solid shake.

Neat test

I took an online grammar test, and these were my results:

English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 83% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.