Friday, September 16, 2005

For you God-fearin' folk...

You know, recent statements by Michael Marcavage (New Orleans got trashed by Katrina because gays are eeeeevil) have gotten me thinking about God and why He might send disasters. Admittedly, I'm an atheist, so I'm no authority on such matters, but consider this:

January 2001: George W. Bush inaugurated as President of the United States.
September 2001: Hijackers fly planes into the WTC, completely destroying both buildings in America's most devastating terrorist attack.

January 2005: George W. Bush re-inaugurated as President of the United States.
August 2005: Hurricane Katrina trashes much of Lousiana and Mississippi, in America's most devastating hurricane.*

See the connection? About nine months after we swear in George Bush, calamity strikes. Coincidence? Perhaps, or maybe it takes nine months, give or take a week, for God's administrative staff to process the Disaster Request Form. I'm thinking that the form was delayed in 2001 because, like most rational people, God was completely befuddled by the way Bush sleazed into office, and He fell behind on His paperwork. In 2005, however, God probably had all the forms filled out, signed, and placed in interoffice envelopes, just in case. The moment Ohio went for Bush, God just dropped that shit in His "out" box and His celestial staff took over.

I'm thinking God needn't have bothered. With a costly quagmire in Iraq, a record deficit, and skyrocketing healthcare costs, America's doing pretty well in the disaster department.

* I actually don't know if Katrina qualifies as America's most devastating hurricane, and I don't feel like looking it up. It was pretty damn bad, however, and anyone who thinks he/she can void the point I'm making by contradicting me in this petty way, well...you suck.

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