Thursday, June 30, 2005

My San Francisco Diary (or Six Days Without a Hairbrush)

Thursday: Became intimately familiar with Terminal D of the Philadelphia International Airport, since I spent lots of time there waiting for a flight that was five hours late departing. When we finally got to San Francisco, it was too late for anything but tasty, tasty Thai food and Yerba Buena Gardens.

Friday: Discovered that, touristy or not, the Alcatraz tour is well worth it. Also discovered that the wind off San Francisco is chill enough to necessitate long pants and sweatshirts, even in June. Went to a thoroughly enjoyable and thoroughly hokey variety show called “Beach Blanket Babylon”, the novelty enhanced by the guy in the bathroom who looked as if he'd just snorted a line. Nice.

Saturday: Went museum-hopping, and discovered the wax Eminem is waaay better than the real one, and nearly as cute. Got hit on by a waiter who said I reminded him of a Chilean economist he once knew. (Apparently, that’s a compliment on the West Coast.) Watched the Dyke March that night, which featured many naked boobies. Whilst wandering the packed Castro afterwards, a guy grabbed my butt, and then said he was sorry. Could not determine if that was, “Sorry I was forward,” or, “Sorry that wasn’t a better experience for me.” My ego required that I settle on the former.

Sunday: Watched the Pride parade, which seemed nearly as large as New York’s. THIS parade, however, had marchers as specific as “Gay Chemists for Socialism.” Hmm. Off to the Exploratorium, where I got to crawl through the Tactile Dome, which is completely lightless and very obstacle-course-like. It was like playing Dungeons & Dragons, except I wasn't sitting at a table stuffing Cheese Doodles into my face.

Monday: Ventured outside the city to UC Berkeley, where liberalism lives. Re-discovered that making fun of liberals is nearly as fun as making fun of conservatives. Explored Muir Woods, where the trees are large and the trails narrow and high. (Good thing I am sure-footed.) Swung through Sausalito and walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, which that day was nearly completely sheathed in fog. Dropped by the Castro that evening where I found a bar doing an 80’s night. Was reminded just how bad “Valley Girl” really is. A cute bartender (who looked like Yagathai!) struggled hard to remember how to make a Shirley Temple. A manly drink.

Tuesday: Stole food from hotel for flight, which was fortunate since the plane took off two hours late. Ugh. Invented "Snookums Razor", which states:

When you have refused to consider all rational options, all that remains is the completely insane.

Watched “The Pacifier” in flight. Was grateful that the TSA made certain there were no cutting implements on board, lest I decide to commit suicide rather than finish watching that movie. Landed in Philadelphia where it was hot and soupy, and not in a tasty-minestrone kind of way.

Oh, and I made do for the entire trip without a hairbrush.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

A Neat Thing I Saw

I was driving home from work with Dan, and stopped on the 676 off-ramp at 8th Street we saw a homeless guy going from car to car, begging for money. The car behind me contained two men, one of whom (the passenger) had his leg propped up on the door, his bare foot sticking out the open window. The homeless guy paused in his begging to give the guy's little toe a tweak, and even said "cootchie-coo" whilst he did it.

I would have given him five bucks easy for that show, but he didn't come back to my car. His toe-tweaking thus went unrewarded.

Friday, June 10, 2005


I work in Bala Cynwyd, and there's a tow company out here called "Main Line Hooker Service." If they ever make a t-shirt that reads, "Main Line Hooker", I'm snatching it up.

Bala Cynwyd is an interesting place to work, BTW. During my daily lunchtime walks I see black and/or non-native women walking babies or old women. At 5pm you see all those women walking back to City Avenue to get the bus. During the aforementioned walks I see giant stone houses, each with its own set of SUV's. One house boasts two SUV's and a Hummer. (Evidently, getting 12 miles to the gallon was far too efficient for these folks.) Also, a the local deli I get to rub elbows with women whose handbags are worth more than the blue book value of my car. Admittedly, most packs of gum are worth more than the blue book value of my car, but it still makes me feel quite the plebian.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Yeah, George, I know

Has anyone else noticed that GWB spends alot of time reminding us that he's the president? I can't tell you how many times I've heard him on the radio saying, "I was elected to do such-and-such" or "I'm the president, and it's my job to do this or that." Hey George, I suspect most Americans remember the 2004 election, and I for one will never forget the election in 2000. Are you reminding us, or yourself?

Let me tell you something I learned long ago about leadership. A crappy leader wears his authority like a crown, perched up high for all to see, attracting as much attention as possible. A real leader wears her authority like an everyday suit of clothing, unassuming and normal, but nonetheless present and real. A leader who feels it necessary to remind people he's in charge is no leader at all.

This is one instance in which I am not happy to be proven absolutely correct.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

::Shakes head::

I've been reading on a posting board comments about the revelation of Deep Throat's identity, and in more than one was expressed the opinion that Felt was a traitor. Yep. You got it. Revealing the criminal activities of the White House is now treason. I can only assume that the Neanderthals who hold these opinions believe that it's wrong for the White House to engage in criminal activity.

This is dismaying, but not truly surprisingly. Hell, even Vietnam, that quagmire in which the US poured thousands of Americans' worth of blood has been recast as a good fight in which our only mistake was pulling out before we won. I expect Karl Rove to say stuff like that; after all, he has something to gain by promoting historically blind bullshit. I am saddened and amazed that the American people increasingly buy it.

Although I have always been and remain an optimist when it comes to people, let me say we in America are due to reap a very, very bitter harvest. And, boy, do we have it coming.