Wednesday, December 14, 2005


I totally got stopped by the Philadelphia police today, running a yellow light on Spruce Street. (If you replace "yellow" with "yellow-turning-to-red" that sentence is true.) I got away without a ticket, which I credit to my transformation into Joe Citizen. I'm all "Yes sir" and "Thank you sir" and "How may I help you, officer?" Once, when I crossed over from the inner lane to the outer at a non-crossover point, I even called myself stupid. If it keeps the points off my license, I'm perfectly willing to insult myself. Insulting myself is free; points on my license cost money.

I don't understand the folks who insist on arguing with cops who pull them over. If the officer has decided to ticket you, blowing him a bunch of chong isn't going to convince him otherwise. Don't get me wrong; what would "Cops", my favorite reality show, be without people who fight with police officers? You can keep "Survivor" and that ilk, because to be perfectly blunt, I don't care who gets voted off the fucking island. I have zero interest in watching wilderness lore blend with the democratic process. I have loads of interest in watching a shirtless loser with three teeth in his head flee on foot down a breakdown lane while his hooker stands weeping at the car. That's entertainment, my friends. Next to "When Animals Attack" (Parts One through Three), "Cops" is the top of the heap when it comes to reality television.


Anonymous Feanor said...

I don't think I've ever heard the phrase "blowing him a bunch of chong" before, but it's most excellent, in a vaguely disgusting kind of way.

9:19 AM  
Blogger trailofscarlet said...

'ello. Glad to see that you have not fallen of this veil of tears completely!!!! I've been on lj this many years and have decided to branch out and thought that this may be a nice place to start!! If only to keep tabs on you!!!

5:30 PM  
Blogger TrackerNeil said...

Yay! Trail of Scarlet makes my blog cool!

7:33 PM  
Blogger trailofscarlet said...

LOL!!! I hardly think you need me to add to your considerable "coolness"! But thanks for the boost anyway!! :)

11:16 AM  

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