Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Things That Annoy Me

I'd like to relate some of my pet peeves, just because I feel like it. My blog, my rules, and these are my peeves.

Hyphenated surnames: Ladies (or gentlemen), when you marry, pick a name and live with it. Hyphenation doesn't make you look feminist and independent; it makes you look pretentious.

Not signalling turns: Drivers who make signal-less turns need their own special place in hell, right beside those freaks who discard the creme and eat the rest of the Oreo.

Corporate-speak: This is a favorite peeve of mine. "Transition" is not a verb, nor is "incentivize" , and using "out of pocket" to mean "out of the office" is just plain retarded. People use these (and other) words to sound intelligent, but they wind up sounding even more retarded then they already do.

Work small talk: This category includes all those pat responses you get to the "how are you?" question including (but not limited to): "It's only Monday", "Not bad for nine o'clock", or "Is it five o'clock yet?"

Trendy-speak: Those terms that come from movie titles that everyone then feels suddenly compelled to use in conversation. "Lost in translation" is a current example of this, and another from a few years back is "waiting to exhale." Cliches are bad enough, but when they're the latest thing on top of that...well, they just suck.

Littering: Whenever I see some jerk dropping a cigarette box or cupcake wrapping on the sidewalk I have to restrain myself from transforming into a great, hideous, flaming purple wolf and tearing out his/her ignorant throat. When I become a deity, I intend to change the laws of physics so that anyone who drops refuse in an inappropriate place will find said refuse in his/her bed. And I mean all kinds of refuse. Yes.

That's all for now. To balance the slate, later I will post some of my favorite things.


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