Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Now THIS is tough!

Check out this story about a diver who escaped a shark by poking it in the eye.

Horrific as a shark attack is, I'm not feeling the horror. I'm feeling awestruck. How tough was Eric Nerhus? The chick in "Jaws" just screamed when she got attacked; this guy decided to bring down the pain. I'm envisioning the shark's thoughts...

"Boy, this water is warm. I want something sweet;
I wish sharks had invented Oreos. Oh, there's a fish...nope, he's too small. I'll look for something bigger. Still wanting Oreos. Oho! Look at that guy! Alone, apparently healthy, and sufficiently tasty, I'm sure. Plus, he's Australian. Man, I hate those fuckers. I'm going to chew on his head."

(Shark attacks.)

"Holy fucking shit! He just poked my eye! My eye! What the hell's up with that? Crap! Crap! Crap! He was supposed to scream uselessly like that chick in 'Jaws.' Instead, he poked my eye! It hurts! And I still don't have Oreos! This sucks. I hate being a shark."

New favorite lyric:

"You might think I'm crazy, so what if I am?
My head is full of good things and not for everyone."

Artist: Go-Go's (Charlotte Caffey, Gina Schock)
Song: Beautiful
Album: Return to the Valley of the Go-Go's


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