A brief news break

State rep John Perzel, ignominiously kicked out of the speaker's office despite his frenzied attempts to prevent it, is now getting a new title: Speaker Emeritus. Listen to what Gene Stilp has to say about it:

"We are starting the effort to call him 'Speaker Demeritus,' " said Stilp. "For us, he is the best source of material in the world."

Heh. I can't make it any funnier than that.

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Apparently, Philadelphia's attempts to enforce the smoking ban are reminiscent of the Third Reich. Check out this comment from bar owner Frank DiClaudio, who was ticketed for $150 for allowing smokers to light up in front of the health inspector:

"We're talking Gestapo tactics, storm troopers," complained DiClaudio. "I guess they're trying to make a point."

Yeah...I'll bet Anne Frank was so relieved to be taken to the gas chamber instead of, you know, receiving a couple of citations.

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George Bush is taking responsibility for mistakes made in Iraq, or so he pretends.

"Where mistakes have been made, the responsibility rests with me. "

Isn't that on par with saying, "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt"? In other words, Bush - who's not admitting any mistakes - will take any credit for mistakes that might have been made. Kinda like the Catholic Church admitting several hundred years later that they, gosh darn it, they were wrong about Galileo. Sorta.

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You comic-book fans should check out this place. OK, so that's not newspaper-style news, but shut up!