Everyone can play!

Welcome to Whack-a-Sex-Offender, the game in which government officials get as crazy as they wanna be to show just how tough they are on sex offenders! Check out the latest news from New Jersey. In case you don't want to bother reading the article, here are some excerpts:

The state Parole Board yesterday reimposed a curfew prohibiting registered sex offenders from opening their doors during trick-or-treating hours. If a parole officer or other law enforcement official comes knocking, though, the offenders are ordered to let them in.

Sex offenders also are forbidden from attending Halloween parties, from going trick-or-treating, and from wearing any costume that obscures their identity.

Any offender who is spotted handing out candy could be cited for a parole violation and sent back to jail for up to 24 months.

The curfew - which will be imposed on about 2,200 sex offenders - will run from 3 p.m. Tuesday to 6 a.m. Wednesday. The Parole Board will make exceptions if the offender needs to go to work. If a community holds Halloween events on a different day, the same rules will be in effect.

You'd figure that this was all to prevent sex offenders from, you know, re-offending. Not so!

"The purpose is to prevent people with sex offenses in their past from making initial contacts with potential victims," said John D'Amico, the chairman of the Parole Board.

At least Mr. D'Amico is honest about the prospects of these restrictions actually protecting anyone.

D'Amico said that there had never been any reported assaults against children by registered sex offenders on Halloween.

But, D'Amico said, Halloween events could allow a sex offender to establish a relationship with a child that would foster trust and later result in an assault.

Man...you couldn't pay for better theatre.

Regarding Draakengard...

...I got that voicemail, you jackals. Very funny.

Re-Americanized

I just flew back from England (this is where I'm supposed to say, "And boy are my arms tired!") and boy am I tired! You wouldn't think that sitting on a plane could wear you out, but it can, and did. Still, the awesomeness of England made it well worth the trip, even taking into account my strong dislike of flying. I know that, statistically speaking, I'm safer on a plane than in my car, but then again I don't have to worry about falling 33,000 feet out of my Corolla.

I managed to get four hours' sleep on the flight over (nap sponsored by Prince Valium), so I arrived at Heathrow relatively fresh compared to other trips. In fact, that selfsame day I visited Bletchley Park, where the Brits cracked the Enigma code. Very neat place. During the trip I also visited the Winston Churchill Museum, Dover Castle (where the white cliffs are), various spots in London, and a supermarket. That last one sounds dull, but it wasn't. I got to peek around and see what the English buy at their version of Acme, otherwise known as Waitrose. Most of the stuff was unfamiliar, but I did see Betty Crocker, Kellogg's and, of course, Coca-Cola. The weather was clear by English standards, meaning it was variably mostly sunny and completely cloudy, but there was little rain, and my umbrella was ne'er unfurled. I also discovered that asking for root beer in an English restaurant is like putting Republicans in charge of Congress: you get nowhere. Trying to describe the taste of root beer is even harder, but I did my darnedest. I said root beer was like chocolate soda with a touch of cinnamon, but you can post a better description in the comments if you have one.

Getting back was fun. The check-in lines were mobbed, as was security, so by the time I finished all that rigamarole my flight was on last call. I ran like Bruce Jenner to my gate, leaping luggage and dodging strollers and was the last person on the plane. Naturally the plane didn't get going until nearly one hour late, so my athletics were as unnecessary as they were unappreciated. My seatmate was quite the Gloomy Gus, and his mood was not improved by the empty plastic water bottle I accidentally dropped on his head. Well. Anyway, I saw the 3rd X-Men film on the way back, though, which was fun though utterly predictable. I got into Philadelphia, had to steal a cab from an autocratic yet inept taxi-Nazi*, and got home to homemade fettucini Alfredo. Did I ever say what a treasure Dan is?

Oh, and I did see the BSG episode that aired whilst I was away, so I am now unspoilerable.

* Isn't there something really odd about this word pairing? I can't take my eyes off it.

Ugh, and ugh

Today I quested to recover my poor Corolla from the clutches of the Towing and Impoundment division of the Philadelphia Parking Authority, who'd seized in Tuesday night because the commonwealth suspended my registration. I got that all squared away with PennDOT, and even took the trip to Traffic Court in stride, but trying to get a cab from court to the impound lot was an ordeal. Dan came with me, though, turning a dreadfully sucky experience into one that merely sucked. I was ultimately successful, and at 1:30 pm today I rescued my car from its Northeast Philly gulag.

I had to write a very pointed and dismayed email to the Pennsylvania Green Party, who wrote me asking for donations to the U.S. Senate campaign of Carl Romanelli. I am a card-carrying member of the Green Party, and would ordinarily be inclined to vote for their candidate but for the fact that Romanelli is pretty much a Republican sock puppet. Seriously, the man has gotten the lion's share of his campaign funding from Santorum supporters who hope to siphon votes away from Bob Casey, Jr. Actually, I'd say it was the dragon's share, because the only non-GOP money Romanelli's gotten is from himself in the amount of about 30 bucks. Pathetic. Anway, I wrote the Greens and told them that I'd be donating zero dollars and fuck-you cents to Romanelli's campaign. Say what you will about Casey, and you could say alot, but at least he's not on Santorum's payroll.

Sometimes liberals can be so damned foolish.

Purity and Politics

I don't know if anyone's been following the 10th district congressional race, but it's become more interesting because of news of the Republican incumbent's affair. Check out my favorite quote from the article:

Some voters will make up their minds on other issues. But the outcome may rest with the likes of Wade Whitney, 75, a Republican since the days of Dwight Eisenhower.

"Sure, the affair matters," he said, standing outside the post office in tiny Dalton. "We don't condone that kind of stuff. A man should be able to resist temptation...

"But I can't bear the idea of the Democrats taking over in Washington. How am I going to vote? I'm up on top of the telephone poll. This is the toughest decision I can remember."

I've always felt that voting on moral values was pretty dumb, but I'm starting to think that, many times, it's also pretty selective. Clinton did essentially the same thing Sherwood did, except Clinton was foolish enough to lie (or at the very least closely pare the truth) about it under oath. Republicans went apeshit over that, and wanted to impeach the man even though most Americans didn't. However, when a Republican fools around on the wrong side of the sheets, then it's all, "Well, he's still better than the Democrats." (Keep in mind that in the 10th district race race the Democrat is not accused of adultery.) In essence, these "values voters" are proving that their dedication to preserving the moral purity of this country extends only to the Republican section of the ballot. Very convenient, that.

(In case you were wondering, I think voting for a politician for moral reasons is pretty foolish. Ain't no politician overly concerned about moral values; their primary purpose is to get reelected, and anyone who loses sight of that deserves exactly what he gets.)

BTW, Outfest was yesterday, so the gayborhood was pretty much off-limits to auto traffic. I saw one festival staffer playing the heavy to drivers frustrated by traffic, and he wasn't getting much respect. I'm guessing that had something to do with the fact that he was at the time wearing an orange sweater tied around his neck and was carrying a crocheted shoulderbag. Not exactly a power-outfit, in my view. And his shoes didn't even match the sweater, for Pete's sake.

The Omen (or How Satan Fucked Up the Apocalyse)

I rented "The Omen" today, and before I start bitching about it, let me say I still basically enjoy it even after who-knows-how-many years. Now on to the bitching.

When I was little and first saw this film* I thought, "Wow! Satan sure is unstoppable in this movie. He kills everyone who opposes him." As an adult, I realize that Satan does indeed kill all of his enemies...but only clumsily, and usually long after it matters. First, there's the nanny, driven to hideous and public suicide to clear the way for the evil governess who will shepherd Damien (the AntiChrist) through his diabolic childhood. Were I the Father of Lies, I'd have arranged for a nice, non-conspicuous traffic accident, something no one would question, instead of an unforgettably horrific death just after the cutting of Damien's fifth birthday cake. Then there's the fallen priest, who gets speared by a lightning rod just after he tells Gregory Peck (foster father to the AntiChrist) everything he needs to know to unravel the tangled web of lies surrounding the birth of his son. Isn't killing him at that point like putting on the condom in the cab ride home? It's bad enough that Satan takes out foster mother Lee Remick to prevent her from having a baby she'd intended to abort anyway, but what makes it worse is that he has to subcontract the job to a five-year-old with a tricycle. Finally, there's the photographer who is fantastically beheaded by a pane of glass...after he's helped Peck get hold of the clutch of sacred daggers needed to put an end to Beelzebub Junior.

Are you seeing a pattern here? Satan's good at causing deaths, but he makes a cat's cradle out of scheduling them. Hell, come to think of it he isn't very good causing them either; remember, it's not the Prince of Darkness who balks Peck in the end, but the good old London PD and their trusty sidearms. I never bought into that Revelations stuff, but even if I did "The Omen" has shown me that Satan's no more likely to bring about the end of the world than Daffy Duck.

*I'm not very easily frightened and never was, so as a child I was allowed to watch all the stuff kids weren't supposed to watch. I saw "The Omen", "The Exorcist", "Audrey Rose" and others of that ilk with nary a bad dream.

Two things

First, Dan told me that the other night he heard me mutter "Sweet!" in my sleep. I really wish I could remember the dream

Second, those of you who were at Movie Night the week before last might remember me talking all this philosophical to Yagathai. That was in response to a question he'd asked me weeks before, which boiled down to this: Should an elected official deceive his/her constituency into supporting a policy that benefits the national interest? It was a tough question, so I took some time to think it over, and now I'm ready to share my answer with the world (or at least the tiny sliver of it that reads this blog). Here goes.

The question put me in mind of a debate in a college political science course over whether democratically elected officials are representatives or trustees of power. At the time I was certain they were the former, simply enacting what they believed the voters would want. Nowadays I tend towards the latter, wanting officials who can responsibly exercise power in our behalf but not necessarily according to our preferences. Of course a good politician (if such exists) would have a bit of both. Anyway that was the framework into which I placed Yagathai's question, and after some consideration I'm finally going to answer the question I promised to answer in the last paragraph. Just to piss off grammar Nazis, I'm going to start a new paragraph.

I think there can be circumstances in which an official could justifiably deceive the electorate into going along with something he/she truly believes serves the public weal. Voters aren't a remarkably analytical bunch, responding better to slogans than sound arguments, and that's a fact no realistic office-holder can (or should) ignore. However, much depends on the policy in question. If we're talking about setting fuel standards or regulating greenhouse gases, deception can be OK; if we're talking about war (the current Iraq fiasco was the back-drop for Yagathai's question), only the truth will serve. The former policies will at worst waste some government money; the latter waste lives. Since a life is the most anyone has to give, no one should be sent to his/her death based on a lie. Yeah, yeah, I know that lies and war are often found in the same company, but that wasn't what I was asked.

Walkin' in the Rain

I did eight miles Saturday in the rain, and it was fun. Foot-hurty, mayhaps, but refreshing. I went up along the Schuykill Banks and then up Kelly Drive. There were a few other walkers out there, but not many. There's one thing to be said for constant rain: It keeps the footpath clear.

Ever notice that after you get rained on you don't feel/smell any cleaner? You just feel/smell rained on? Maybe pre-pollution rain made you feel/smell better, but today's rain just makes me want a shower.

Has anyone read Poul Anderson's Brain Wave? Great premise, but IMO a lousy storytelling. I won't reveal any of the plot, but I'm curious to know what others think.

Love it so much!

On a lark, I bought the first season of "Bewitched" on DVD last night, and I'm having a grand old time watching it.

Before you say it, yes, I know that's really, really gay. I accept this.

Anyway, Elizabeth Montgomery is adorable. If I were straight, she would totally be my fantasy not-wife. Oh, the guest stars! Agnes Moorehead in gauzy garments of lavender and pale green! Maurice Evans in a snazzy tux! Paul Lynde as the jokester bachelor uncle! And, of course, Montgomery herself in a duel role as Cousin Serina, the hippest witch in Morning Glory Circle. To think I questioned this purchase!

You don't get a vote

Does this whole "Is Pluto a planet?" kerfuffle strike anyone as harmful? I'm not talking about the honest scientific debate; I'm talking about public outcry over the prospect of stripping Pluto of its status as the 10th planet in the solar system. I was reading about teachers getting children to write letters in support of keeping Pluto a planet, and I couldn't help but think that this approach to scientific debate is harmful.

I realize that many Americans (myself included) grew up learning in school that the solar system had nine planets, and we carefully memorized their names. So what? At one time people believed that the world was flat, but when it became obvious it wasn't, they got over it. Scientists have certain standards a heavenly body must meet to be classified as a planet, and Pluto didn't make it. Too bad. However, the idea that popular opinion should have weight in that debate just strikes me as wrong, wrong wrong. That's the kind of thinking that gets you "intelligent design."

On an unrelated topic, I've been slowly memorizing the words to "One Night in Bangkok", which until this week I didn't know was from a show. I also discovered that I had already memorized the lyrics of "I've Been to Paradise (But I've Never Been to Me)." Isn't that awful? Think about it...some producer sat in a recording studio and thought, "Yeah, Charlene, that's gold."

My favorite Democrat

Do you know why Ed Rendell is my favorite Democrat? One, because he's a smart guy who knows how to compromise and doesn't get sidetracked on foolish issues like posting the Ten Commandments here there and everywhere. Two, because his campaign staff says funny things, like so.

Gubernatorial candidate Lynn Swann has written a book that details his plans for Pennsylvania should the voters be foolish enough to send him to Harrisburg. (The "foolish" part is my add-in; I don't imagine Swann would put that in his book.) Anyway, he plans to hand out the book for free at campaign events, but otherwise charge $10 for it. Uh, Lynn...most voters can't be bothered to look up the location of their polling places; do you honestly think they want to spend ten bucks on a book that tells them what you should be telling them for free?

Excerpt from the book:

"My opponent tries to dismiss me as a mere football player who doesn't understand government... . The mind-set this criticism reveals - that politics is best left to the career politicians - only shows which one of us is really out of touch."

Response from the Rendell campaign:

"I do not dismiss him as a mere football player who doesn't have experience. I dismiss him as an unbelievably fantastic football player who doesn't have experience."

And that's why Rendell is my favorite Democrat.

Vote Sith in '08!

At first I thought the suggestion of voting the Sith into the White House was a joke, but now that I think about it I'm more and more inclined to favor this. Say what you will about Palpatine, but the man had a rational (if evil) plan for governance and he knew how to win a war. That's a step up from what we've got now.

The other day I was walking by a construction site peopled by all these burly, man's-man guys. Out of their radio came Bette Midler singing, "The Rose." Ah...that kind of man's man.

I've come to learn that the combination of perfectionism and incompetence is a truly toxic thing.

I'm currently reading John Dean's "Conservatives Without Conscience." Great book. Buy it now. I'm also reading a collection of Robert E. Howard's Conan novellas, which I got at Between Books in Delaware. Between Books is the only thing that redeems Delaware in my personal estimation; otherwise that state could be sold to the Chinese to repay a fraction of our national debt. Then you could at least get good fried rice in Wilmington.

The Sweet Smell of Desperation

The Philadelphia Inquirer reported today a successful attempt by the Santorum campaign to link Bob Casey Jr. to Al-Jazeerah. Unfortunately, it was the wrong Al-Jazeerah. Good going, Rick.

My favorite part of the piece is how the Santorum folks refuse to back down. Like a good Republican, Santorum knows that if you never back down, even from a foolish statement, some people will take you seriously and assume you know what you're talking about.

Some Comeuppance

Apparently, the City of Philadelphia has finally worked up the nerve to tell the Boy Scouts that they can't have it both ways. Thanks to the Supreme Court, the BSA is legally allowed to exclude gays, but accordingly to Philadelphia ordinance, any group that does so is ineligible for city funds. That includes the local Scouts chapter headquarters at 22nd and Winter, in which the Scouts have resided rent-free for decades. Naturally the Scouts are crying discrimination, which is a hoot and a half since they started this whole business, and are threatening legal action. Evidently the Scouts want the benefits of being a private organization in terms of discrimination along with the ability to suckle at the public teat.

To satisfy my own pointless curiousity, I went to the Boy Scouts Web site to find out just what being a Scout means. Here's a direct quote:

"A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent."

Too bad consistent and intellectually honest aren't on that list. In the days that come, however, perhaps they'll add litigious.

A new boob

Alan Keyes, with his burning desire to repeal the 17th Amendment, used to hold my "Craziest Politician" title, but I think Katherine Harris may be ready to wrest it away. You may remember the Honorable Ms. Harris from the 2000 election fiasco, in which she did all she could as Florida's secretary of state to ensure that her buddy George Bush (on whose campaign team she then worked) took the state's 25 electoral votes. Two years later she won a seat in the House of Representatives, thus accounting for the "honorable" part of her name. (Payola, anyone?) Well, her Senate campaign is floundering under constant staff changes, lack of funding and discouragement from most major Florida Republicans, but now news surfaces about her penchant for waving dead interns. Gee...it couldn't happen to a nicer election-fixer.

On an unrelated topic, I was thinking about "The Brady Bunch" the other day, and wondering why on earth the Bradys needed a maid. Sure, there were eight of 'em in that house, but it's not as if Carol was busting heavies in an office all day, out-earning her hubbie. I seem to recall her occasionally bringing in bags of groceries, but I don't remember her ever taking up a broom or sponge. Also, Alice worked for the Brady's for how many years and still addressed and referred to Carol as "Mrs. Brady." And do you remember the episode in which Alice had to leave to care for a sick relative for a week or so? She got her cousin to stand in for her (said cousin being Ann B. Davis in a duel role), but I can't be the only one to wonder why a family with two adults and at least two children in their mid-teens can't cope for a week without domestic help.

I watched the show as a child, and looking back I recall that it was pure fantasy to me. I grew up in what would twenty years later be called a crack slum, on a household budget in which fruit juice was a luxury, and these people have an enormous house with a maid. I might as well have been watching "Babylon 5" for all that I could personally relate.

Now I post more than Tim...

I can use his real name since I won't tell you his blog name. Or Live Journal name. I think that's OK to do, and if it isn't I guess he and I will have to fight it out with daggers on the brink of a Lucas-pit.

The other day I was thinking about this whole flag-burning hoo-ha...I always know spring has arrived when Congress wheels out the flag-burning amendment for another run. Man, but that thing has seen more traffic than I-95! I could burn the U.S. Constitution on any corner in this country and most Americans wouldn't bat an eye, but let me take a Bic to a colored piece of cloth and about two-thirds of 'em go ballistic. That's a pretty sad statement about the quality of most American's love of country.

I recently changed cubicles in my office, and was therefore the recipient of many inquiries that went, "So how do you like your new cube?" How am I supposed to answer that? The damned thing is square and beige, much like the last, and when I am there I have to do things I don't like. At first I tried witty responses like, "I tan way better over here" or "You can't beat the property values on this side of the office." Neither of those went over very well, so now I just say, "Fine." That's probably all they wanted to hear anyway.

Boo-yah!

My proposal writing course is over, and I am pleased to report I got a big, fat "A." Almost makes 14 weeks of graduate work shoved into 5 feel worth it. Almost.

Pennsylvania is now reaping the grim harvest of its decision to repeal the motorcycle helmet law. Gee...who'd have thought the incidence of head injuries sustained in motorcycle accidents would dramatically increase after telling cyclists they needn't bother with helmets? I've heard all the arguments about personal freedom, but if cyclists should be free to ride helmetless then we, the taxpayers, should be free to not treat their injuries on the commonwealth's nickel. Since that's not gonna happen, I say we make 'em wear helmets. Besides, what about the freedom of those of us who drive automobiles? Shouldn't we have the option of not wearing our seatbelts? Finally, in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania driving is a privilege, not a right, so forcing cyclists to wear helmets isn't infringing on their rights. Not vetoing that repeal was one of the few things Governor Rendell has done with which I strongly disagreed.

Wah!

I've spent more than six hours on my stupid proposal, and it's still not done. Hate this class! Hate it so much! Valuable experience, but hate! When this class is over I'm going to buy a bunch of books and read the hell out of 'em.

The Inquirer published my letter to the editor today, and since I let them publish my email address I got lots of kind messages from appreciative readers. I also got a disjointed missive of venom from some nutjob in West Chester. I guess if I had to live in West Chester I'd be angry, too.

A couple of cuties moved into one of the empty the apartments in my building, but my main interest in them is wondering if I can get them to play Ultimate on Saturdays. Go ahead and pass your amendment, Pennsylvania...I'm still just as boring as a married guy!

An evening of the damned!

I just rented "Village of the Damned", which for those of you who don't know is a great horror movie that was naturally incompetently remade in the 90's. To add insult to injury, Kirstie Alley was cast in the remake, and she is one of my most unfavorite actors of all time. (Evidently Charo was not available.) But I digress. The DVD also contains the little-known sequel "Children of the Damned," which I've not seen but am eager to watch. I'm sure it will be awful, and that only increases my eagerness. I wonder if Dan knows what he's getting into...

Tonight is a well-deserved break from my proposal writing class, which is the current bane of my existence. It's taught fairly well and all that, but it's fourteen weeks of work crammed into five, meaning I have readings and assignments just about all the time. Blech. I must say, however, that proposal writing as a craft is kinda fun. I'm enjoying researching grant organizations and angling the proposal for maximum impact. I think I could do that for a living.

Back to paragraph one. The woman at the video store was just the prettiest thing you could want, and wearing a t-shirt that showed off the, uh, northern hemisphere to best advantage. I can completely understand what straight guys see in women, I really can.

A hearty giggle...

...was had by me when I read about this. Lynn Swann provides further evidence, if any more were needed, that he doesn't have the sand to be Pennsylvania's governor. Why, you ask? Any move to reduce the size of the legislature would involve an act of the legislature, which means members would be voting themselves out of a job. I'm thinking that a body that voted itself a pay raise in the dead of night and then circumvented the state constitution so they could collect it early isn't likely to experience the sudden rush of civic-mindedness such an act would require. Call me cynical if you must, but that's my view. Good luck with that, Lynn. Dummy.

On another topic, whoever isn't playing Galactic Civilizations II is really missing out. If you've ever hankered to tread across the galaxy like a great titan of doom, you need to try this game.