As Bad as Schizophrenia

My mom (TrackerMom) told me this story, which I suppose is insulting but I find incredibly funny.

TrackerMom meets up with a long-time friend for shopping, lunch, etc. During conversation, the fact that TrackerMom's elder son (me) is gay. Also during conversation comes up the fact that Friend has a friend who's daughter (we'll call her Trisha) is schizophrenic. Friend then says:

"Well, I guess every family has its burden. My friend has Trisha, you have Neil."

TrackerMom was not amused, but I sure am! I've been trying to come up with catchy, brief copy for a commemorative t-shirt; if anything deserves to end up emblazoned across my skinny chest, it's that. Comments are solicited.

New favorite lyric:

"So now I blame my problems and the fact that I have no girlfriend on the government
It gets me through the day, and what the hey, I'm young and single and I'm lovin' it
And if you believe that, you're a moron."

Artist: Sean McGarry (Sean McGarry)*
Song: Shades and Walkman
Album: N/A

*Yup, it's that Sean McGarry. Love this song. So. Much.