Monday, October 25, 2004

My kinda god

Whilst talking with a friend about the election, I said I'd convert to Christianity were Kerry to win the electoral vote whilst losing the popular vote. That would prove that a) there is a God; and b) He is a funny god. That got me thinking about what kind of god I'd worship if I believed in that kind of thing, and I decided that a funny god would get my obeisance.

All-knowing? Pah! There are already ten million people in my life who think they know better than I do; how's one more going to make a difference? Merciful? Given the current state of the world, evidently divine mercy is, uh, different from what you and I think of as merciful. Just? This one's tempting, because there certainly are some people in this world who having in coming in spades, but then again I think humanity can handle that part. A funny god...well, that's something we don't have, can't simulate, and desperately need.

I want to see evil dictators dispatched not by angry mobs or foolish world leaders who misuse intelligence and mislead their own people (hint, hint), but by giant cream pies hurled from space. I want world hunger solved by the spontaneous transformation of socially conservative Republicans into tasty bread. I'd like to see corporate scum polluters turned into giant pinatas and set free on a planet of people with an unsatiable hunger for candy and whose arms are sharp wooden sticks. Now that's a miracle!


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