Wednesday, March 24, 2004

A Very "Ist" Post

If you're overly sensitive about "isms", skip this post now instead of writing me angry emails later.

There's a guy who works in my office who is a tremendous lech. The problem is that he's also tremendously unattractive, yet completely unaware of that fact...a deadly combination. I've seen this before with straight guys, and it never fails to amaze me. Why on earth do they think women will rush into their arms if those arms are really really unattractive?

I'm not proposing that all straight guys become gymbots; hell, there are lots of men who are perfectly attractive and who don't have 30-inch waists or visible abdominal muscles. However, there is just no excuse for untrimmed nose hair, stubble, and visible carpenter's crack. Straight guys, I know you don't like to tuck in your shirts, but for crying out loud, at least buy shirts that fit! Here's a tip: If the juncture of sleeve and torso hangs three inches below your armpit, the shirt is too big. Also, stop it with the pants that hang around your hips with the crotch somewhere between your knees. I know you think we gay men won't look at your asses if you wear almighty big pants, but guess what? We look anyway.

Thankfully, the straight guys who come to Movie Night wear clothes in their size, else I might have to start naming names. BTW, I wouldn't have sex with the office lech unless that sex involved me beating him senseless with a dead monkey. A ripe one.

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