Oh. My. Gosh.

As some of you know, I have been reading the TSA's blog, which in my view is really just a PR tool for an agency that makes its living by keeping Americans afraid, obedient, and compliant to authority. If you read the blog, make sure to check out the comments, which are far more interesting than the propaganda the TSOs post.

Anyway, yesterday one of the bloggers posted that the percentage of flights that contain one or more air marshals numbered "in the double digits." Evidently, that information is a premium super-duper top TSA secret, because a mere 24 hours later the following appeared:

Yesterday I mistakenly wrote and subsequently reiterated last night in a comment that the percent of flights covered by air marshals is in the “double digits.” Frankly, this was a result of my haste to provide information and to get the truth out quickly about our federal air marshal program. It is simply not appropriate to discuss percentage of flights covered.

So...he wrote it, repeated it, says he was mistaken, but then says he should never have given out that information (which was mistaken). So, was the figure he quoted right or wrong? If it was wrong, then he could have just said, "Hey, that figure I quoted was wrong, and I am not allowed to state the real one." If it was right, this half-assed denial is convincing nobody. My goodness, man...if you're going to try to sleaze your way out of a screw-up, make your lies plausible, or at least consistent.

This is why people don't trust the TSA; the agency appears incompetent at best, or dishonest at worst.

Something that's been bugging me...

I've been following the Democratic presidential primary fairly closely, and naturally I have heard the Clinton vs. Obama, experience vs. judgment debate. However, something puzzles me. Clinton has been going around saying how important experience is, but should she win the nomination, how will she square that against John McCain's greater experience? I mean, the man has been in the Senate since the last Ice Age, so she can hardly claim seniority. Will she then turn around and say, "Well, experience matters but so does judgment"? Isn't that what Obama is already saying?

Besides, all this experience is well and good, but without good judgment experience can equal little more than marking time. I am sure we've all worked with people who possess superior seniority but zero aptitude. (Not that I'm accusing Clinton of that; I actually think she's fairly effective at what she does.) Besides, George Bush has plenty of presidential experience, but do we really want to give him another try?

New favorite lyric:

"The humans are dead
The humans are dead
We used poisonous gases
And we poisoned their asses"

Artist: Flight of the Conchords
Song: Robots
Album: The Distant Future

Just finished watching "Dexter" Season One

...and I have only one thing to say.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!

No.

No.

No!

New favorite lyric:

"Creators of Dexter Season One
Why did you come up with the worst possible ending imaginable?
Did you mean to make me pound things with my fists
And scream like Gollum?"

Artist: TrackerNeil (TrackerNeil)
Song: Why Does Dexter Hurt?
Album: The First Time I Turned Thirty

You never know what you'll find...

...when you Google yourself. (Cue PinkHairedGirl: "Dirty!") When you Google my name, the first hit you get is for an actor who appeared in such cinematic classics as, "The American Experience", "The Able's House is Green", and my personal favorite, "Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator." In that last one I apparently played "The Cyclist", although I would much rather have been credited with "Bad Tempered Man." Phil Vincent beat me out, though. Bastard.

I am one of the openers in a show in Pottstown Saturday, April 5. I am certain I left out a zillion people on my email announcement, so give a shout if you're interested in attending and I'll send you the details. I'm only on stage seven minutes, but I'm certain that the other nine comics are at least as good if not better.

TSA = Totally Stupid Actions

Really good NYT opinion piece about Security Theater at the airport. A few months old, but IMO still relevant.

Speaking of useless things, the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) now has a blog in which you can post comments if a) you feel as though doing so won't put you on the no-fly list; and b) you think they'll bother to post them (it's a moderated blog). When I first browsed to the blog I expected the whole thing to be little more than a PR stunt designed to make the TSA seem concerned and responsive. My expectations were fully confirmed. The TSA bloggers rarely directly address questions, and when they do their answers are usually transparently nonsensical, but I have fun reading the often extremely intelligent criticisms of those whose comments are occasionally allowed to appear.

If you visit the blog, note how often the TSA bloggers will answer criticisms that they are rude and power-tripping by either typing their responses ALL IN CAPS or by saying, "Flying's not a right. If you don't like it, don't fly. Tough cookies." Who says there's no truth in advertising?

New favorite lyric:

"If I were a weapon you said I'd be a gun
Lethal at close range I guess with silencer and stun
I feel more like a needle always pulling on the thread
Always making the same point again and wondering
If you heard what I just said"

Artist: Suzanne Vega (Suzanne Vega)
Song: If I Were a Weapon
Album: Songs in Red and Gray

Take that!

Yet another study that shows that cell phone use on the road is a really, really bad idea.

Hang up and drive, folks.

This just in...

I don't want to announce specifics until I have confirmation, but I am pretty sure I will be performing in not one but two comedy shows in early April. I think I am getting paid for one, too, which means that for at least one weekend I can pretend I am a professional comedian. That means I can start writing off stuff on my taxes next year as business expenses, too, although I wonder if you can itemize "fear that I will alienate the audience."

Hillary Clinton just won't let up, will she? Don't get me wrong, I like her well enough and always have, but every person has a limit and this year she's just about hit hers. Obama's ahead of her and unless she does better in the upcoming states than she's done in any of the previous, she'll go to the convention in second place. Better if she just recognizes reality and steps aside. Argh.

New favorite lyric:

"And sometimes one place wants to slip into the other just to see
What it's like to trade its demons for the restless ghost of Mrs. Ogilvey
She used to pick the mint from her front yard to dress the Sunday pork
Sometimes southern California wants to be western New York"

Artist: Dar Williams (Dar Williams)
Song: Southern California Wants to Be Western New York
Album: Mortal City