This is just weird

Now that my resume is active on Monster.com again, I am getting bombarded with all sorts of job-hunting advice. Here's a doozy from CNN Money, in the form of a Q&A:

How can you get someone's attention?

We can go into billboards, sandwiches - that stuff only works once. It's only for one person who figures it out once, once in a city. If you're looking for fun stuff, we have this thing called the coffee cup caper, 30% of the time it will result in an interview. You send an employer a coffee cup with a little $5 swipe card with a little note that says, I'd like to get together and talk with you over coffee. I'll be calling soon. And you send it by U.S. post two day delivery, and that gets registered. So when they've signed for it, you wait about 20 minutes and then you call them. And then you go, Hi, I know you just got my package.' You're proving you're imaginative and creative.

And a stalker! You don't give a potential employer gifts, particularly when that gift is accompanied by creepy, Fatal-Attraction-style surveillance that reveals, to the minute, when they received that gift. What's next? Do you bring wine and condoms on their honeymoon? Ye gods...does anyone actually get hired this way?

Just a reminder...

Fags and Hags at Stir
Featuring Katie Kohler, Neil McGarry, Joanne Filan, and Janice Kamalski.
Wednesday April 1, 10pm, 1705 Chancellor Street
$5 admission ($2 off first drink)

I will have 15-20 minutes, although I don't know when I'm going on. Can't wait!

Two shows down

I have put both the The Return of the 1-4-5 Show and Screwballs behind me, and now I am on to Fags & Hags on April 1. I feel kinda like a real comedian. Screwballs was fun, BTW, and the audience was ready to laugh but unforgiving. Didn't matter how good your last joke was; if this one wasn't working, you didn't get a peep outta them. Maybe that's how it should be, I don't know, but it sure was disconcerting. The Yoo-hoo bit has never failed though, which is surprising given how lame a joke it is. Videos for both should be available within a few days.

On my way to work today, I saw a man on a bike with a small dog in a small pouch at his midsection. Both man and dog wore identical goggles and were intently watching the road. I wish I'd had the camera!

In case you haven't heard, WolfBlock LLP, my employer, is disintegrating. It's no secret; the Inquirer broke the story Monday morning, which is where I heard about it, and it's been all over the local media ever since. Everyone around here is weepy, angry, bitter, etc., but I can't help but feel a bit optimistic. In this circumstance I can collect unemployment insurance, whereas the last two times I was unemployed there was nothing but Dan and my savings. So this is the softest landing I have ever had. Also, if you have to be out of work spring is the right time for it!

UPDATE: Video for Screwballs show now available.

I'm in the news!

And not for shooting twelve people in a mall or something. For comedy. Look!

OK, it's not the New York Times, but any publicity is good as long as they spell your name right. Given how often my name gets mangled (McGarvey, McGarrity, McGorry, NeGary), I feel I'm well ahead of the curve.

Upcoming shows!

The Return of the 1-4-5 Show
Featuring Neil McGarry, Joey Callahan, Katie Kohler, Carolyn Busa, Mike Eiswerth, and Samita Pendse
Friday, March 20, 7pm, 1100 Walnut Street
$10 admission

Screwballs
Featuring Katie Kohler, Neil McGarry, and others.
Tuesday, March 24, 8:30pm - ?, 208 W Biedler Road King of Prussia PA
No admission but a two drink minimum.

Fags and Hags at Stir
Featuring Katie Kohler, Neil McGarry, Joanne Filan, and Janice Kamalski.
Wednesday April 1, 10pm, 1705 Chancellor Street
$5 admission ($2 off first drink)

What a guy!

You know you are a tax scofflaw when Michael Nutter, personally, calls you out. At your office. In the middle of the day.

I kinda wish the mayor would call me out over something I'm doing wrong, like goofing off at work or discarding the parts of the Oreo I don't want to eat.** You can't buy that kind of publicity.


**For those who don't know, I will, occasionally, remove one cookie side from the Oreo and eat the frosting and other side. But I do eat the frosting, though. People who don't are terrorists. It is known.

Booked!

My third show for this spring is...



I'll leave you to decide if I am a fag or a hag. Or both.