Wednesday, February 16, 2005

You know what bugs me?

Elderly drivers. I'm sorry, but they're a menace. Even though the #1 killer of drivers aged 15-20 die is auto accidents I'd still rather have them on the road with me than the geriatric set. See, young drivers know what they're doing; they just don't care. That to me is infinitely more comforting than the sight of a blue-haired octogenarian behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle sitting in the middle of a busy intersection blinking in confusion. Besides, young drivers usually drive fast, so you can pretty much count on them outdistancing you quickly.

People with loud voices. I know this is petty, but when I'm talking to someone who's talking twice as loud as necessary I get annoyed. My typical tactic is to speak even more quietly, forcing the person to shut his yap to hear me. This tactic has a mixed record of success, but like George Bush I refuse to abandon it regardless of the facts.

Bugs. This category extends to any creature with more than four legs that isn't Odin's mighty steed. I know spiders aren't insects, but since both insects and spiders are bugs, they fit neatly here. Sorry, but no creature with eight eyes, eight legs and fur should exist in any rational universe. Fur...they have fur! That is creepy beyond description. And why do they need so many legs? So they can cause maximum wig-out when they scamper across our faces at night, that's why! Bastards.

I'm now realizing that my last three posts were in the same format, which is getting old. I'll stop now.

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