Friday, December 05, 2003

With the white comes my hate

You know what I hate more than snow? Discussion about snow. Everyone in work thinks he/she has the final word on how much will fall, if it will stick, how long it will last, what it will do to traffic, etc., and it pisses me off in a tremendous manner. Couple that with the rush to grocery stores for bread and milk and I'm cocking my rifle and climbing the steps to the bell tower.

Why on earth would a person living in the fifth-largest city in the United States, a first-world country, feel the need to stock up his larder for four inches of snow? Does anyone really think he/she will be cut off entirely from the world, with all phone service gone? Will anyone really starve to death a quarter mile from a Wawa? Do you know that people hoard the bottled water too? Folks, that white stuff that's falling from the sky is frozen water. It is! Therefore, in the unlikely event that the water lines break all over the Philadelphia metropolitan area, and all other sources of liquid refreshment are exhausted, you can simply put a pot under that falling white stuff, boil it, and then drink it. That should stave off dehydration long enough for someone to shovel a path through the four inches of snow so you can walk your fat ass to the grocery store and buy a Jolt or something.

Ugh. I've way abused the use of italics in this post, so it's time to make an end.

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