Friday, October 30, 2009

Stuff I have seen

Amazing dexterity! I was at the hardware store yesterday, inquiring about a replacement light of those ring-shaped ones. As the not-unattractive young man who was assisting me took one box from the rack, two others fell in rapid succession, and he caught them - BAM! BAM! - with one hand. My reaction: Damn.

Unmitigated gall!
Dan and I were at a Chinese restaurant not far from another pair of diners, one of whom was loud and rude. Dan whispered to me, "I haven't even seen him and I know he's in sales." As we were paying the bill and getting ready to leave, the suspected salesman starts up a shockingly racist imitation of Chinese people, in the same loud tone of voice that I am sure the staff heard. My reaction: Douchebag!

Fashion flogging! During my normal morning walk, I pass a drycleaning shop that always features a lovely wedding gown, on a dressform, in the window. This morning that dress (and its form) were on the sidewalk, being beaten with a flyswatter wielded by a man I assume was the owner. He was no doubt beating out dust, but in my head I kept hearing, "Bad bride! Bad, bad bride!" My reaction: Hit harder!


Anonymous Cyn said...

Did I ever tell you the time I was sitting next to someone being a loud asshole in a Chinese restaurant, and it turned out to be Paulie Shore? True story.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

I wish more stories ended up with the words "and it turned out to be Paulie Shore."

5:43 PM  
Anonymous CathyC said...

I'm guessing the salesman dined on Moo Shoo Spit?

2:37 PM  
Blogger TrackerNeil said...

Unfortunately, the douchebag was smart enough to finish eating before he took his trip down Racist Lane.

9:44 AM  

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