A Friday wrap-up

The other day, whilst waiting for an appointment, I read in Entertainment Weekly that in March Boy George pleaded not guilty to wrongful imprisonment. Apparently, he chained a male model to a wall in his house. (I Googled for the news item but couldn't find it; if you do, please send it to me. I must have it.) What struck me was that the charge was "wrongful imprisonment." Is there a rightful imprisonment? I can just see Boy George defending himself: "Your Honor, there was a smashingly good reason why I had to chain that gorgeous boy to a wall in my conservatory." For the record, if I'm going to chain anyone to a wall in my home, I'll damn well collect rent. Nobody gets a free ride with me.**

I saw a company name today: Campus Zeus. I don't know exactly what this company offers, but if it's consistent with mythology, the service will smite students' enemies with lightning and sleep around on them.

I was playing Galactic Civilizations II the other night, and I came into a moral quandry. You see, I was busily engaged in pounding the sand out of the evil Dominion of Korx, which had been rampaging across the galaxy…until, of course, I got with the sand-pounding. Anyway, just as I drew within range of their home world, the civilization made a great societal shift to a philosophy that valued freedom, charity, and altruism. I cast about for ways to justify attacking a (now) good and peaceful race, and I was having a really tough time until I remembered that my civilization was based on the philosophy of neutrality. How many gold dragons, I wonder, have come to an untimely end through such reasoning?

**Don't all jump up to comment, "That's not what I heard!"

New favorite lyric:

"My sex change operation got botched
My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch
Now all I got is a Barbie-doll crotch
I got an angry inch."

Artist: John Cameron Mitchell (Stephen Trask)
Song: Angry Inch
Album: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

Lie down with dogs...

...get up with cheesy 80's shlock. Check out what comes up on YouTube as a related video to my Fergie's set.

This makes me really, really happy.

Hey, does anyone know where I can get a blasted "Obama for President" button? I live around the corner from Whole Foods, for cryin' out loud, and I can't get my hands on one. I'm not sure just how much more liberal I have to be.

New favorite lyric:

"It's nice to be liked, but it's better by far to get paid
I know that most of the friends that I have
Don't really see it that way
But if you could give 'em each one wish
How much do you want to bet?
They'd wish success for themselves and their friends
And that would include lots of money"

Artist: Liz Phair
Song: Shitloads of Money
Album: Whitechocolatespaceegg

Just like being a real comedian!

It was quite the comedy weekend…two shows in two days. These shows marked a few other firsts: my first stage foray without a cheat sheet, and my first paying gig. I figured that if I am good enough to get paid I'm good enough to play without a net, and so I did.

Saturday was a bar (always a flashing neon danger sign of red) in Pottstown, but the crowd was pretty receptive to my shtick and I got a number of nice compliments from audience members at evening's end. (I was also lucky enough to go on first, and get them before they'd had too much to drink.) I also got adopted by some bar folks for some reason I can't quite fathom. They cheered me on lustily, if drunkenly, and at one point almost interrupted the emcee with demands to, "Bring on Neil!" Would that I had them at every show!

Sunday's show was less fun. The room was crowded and kinda stuffy, and the crowd was challenging. Although they laughed at some things, they were dead silent at others, and never really seemed to warm to me. Even the headliner had some difficulty, although not as much as I did. Also, there were unexpected small children there, which forced me to G-rate my set at the last minute. Still, a paying gig is a paying gig, so I got through. Oh, and I have to mention that in the front row was a woman who could not have been more delighted to be there. She was convulsed with laughter, literally pounding the table and wiping away tears. Someone else I wish I had at every show.

It was kind of funny. I was more nervous about Saturday's show than Sunday's, and yet I think I did better Saturday. However, videos of both nights will be available once I figure out how to use the video editing software on Dan's Mac, so you can judge for yourself.**

New favorite lyric:

"I can bring whole cities to ruin
And still have time to get a soft shoe in
Something's cooking, I'm at the griddle
I bought Nero his very first fiddle."

Artist: Hinton Battle (Joss Whedon)
Song: What You Feel
Album: Once More With Feeling (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

**The video for the Sunday show is now on YouTube, in two parts.