The Frog and the Fool

For some reason I still don't understand, in my early twenties I went through this poetry phase. This is so hard for me to understand because reading poetry generally did nothing for me, and still doesn't. But I digress.

I wrote all kinds of stuff, from the silly to serious, and this morning as I was chopping up a vegetable (Die carrot! Die!), one of those poems came inexplicably to mind. I searched my hard drive and found it, and now I bring it to you. See if it makes you want to eviscerate something orange and healthy.

The Frog and the Fool

I walked under a blue, blue sky

And turned along a path, then I

Came up upon a toadstool patch

And there I found a frog, with match.

He scratched the stick along his rump

Took out his pipe, began to pump,

Said “What you doin’, all nosin’ round here

With your big head, your big face, your big nose and ears?”

Responded I, “I seek advice

About how I should live my life.

I am confused and do not know

Which way the world’s supposed to go.”

He rolled his eyes and snorted out

Disgust that burbled through his snout

(which wasn’t much of a snout, in truth;

He more like burbled through his tooth)

He burped again and laughed aloud

“Come down to earth from that there cloud!

There ain’t no wonder to be found

I know, because I been around.

It’s snot and filth that turns the world.”

He hacked a green one, which he hurled

Too near my foot to suit my needs,

Then cleared his throat, “Just practice greed.”

“Greed?” Said I. “Did I stutter?” said he

“You could do worse.”  I said, “Not me.

Greed’s a goal that’s much too mean

I want love, success, and to leave the world green - ”

Then stepped prudently back, in case he chose

To spit again and illustrate my prose.

He went once more as if to hack,

Then shot me a look that took me aback

“There’s nothin’ noble that can’t be got

By watchin’ pennies in the pot.

Keep close yer cash, ‘cause happiness

May not be for sale, but it’s sure up for rent.”

The days have passed, the years flown by

But well I remember his froggy eye

I planted his words with the seeds that I’ve sown

I couldn’t buy happiness, but I now lease to own.