Snagged!

I totally got stopped by the Philadelphia police today, running a yellow light on Spruce Street. (If you replace "yellow" with "yellow-turning-to-red" that sentence is true.) I got away without a ticket, which I credit to my transformation into Joe Citizen. I'm all "Yes sir" and "Thank you sir" and "How may I help you, officer?" Once, when I crossed over from the inner lane to the outer at a non-crossover point, I even called myself stupid. If it keeps the points off my license, I'm perfectly willing to insult myself. Insulting myself is free; points on my license cost money.

I don't understand the folks who insist on arguing with cops who pull them over. If the officer has decided to ticket you, blowing him a bunch of chong isn't going to convince him otherwise. Don't get me wrong; what would "Cops", my favorite reality show, be without people who fight with police officers? You can keep "Survivor" and that ilk, because to be perfectly blunt, I don't care who gets voted off the fucking island. I have zero interest in watching wilderness lore blend with the democratic process. I have loads of interest in watching a shirtless loser with three teeth in his head flee on foot down a breakdown lane while his hooker stands weeping at the car. That's entertainment, my friends. Next to "When Animals Attack" (Parts One through Three), "Cops" is the top of the heap when it comes to reality television.