Job-hunt Blues

Poppy's journal got me thinking about the suckitude of job hunting, so I'll say my say.

I was at an interview last week, but don't ask me why I went. The company is located in Concordville, which is not only the middle of nowhere but is also a 30-mile drive from my home. True, I currently work in Nowhereville, but at least I drive only 10 miles to it. Anyway, during the interview, the interviewer admitted that it's a conservative environment in which employee advancement is based more on the number of hours worked than on the quality of the work produced in all that time.

Now, obviously I don't want to work in a place that rewards attendance over performance, but the question that was foremost on my mind was this: Why would she tell me that? Does she think I'm going to say to myself, "Now THERE'S the work ethic for me!" And this chick was the boss's daughter! Honey, don't take a job in advertising, because you sure did a crap job selling your dad's company. I'm grateful for this ineptness, believe me (saves me a bad employment experience), but it makes you wonder how she recruits anyone besides people who are naive, desperate, or foolish.

Another thing that pisses me off in terms of job hunting is when employees ask you to submit a salary history with your initial letter and resume. That's pretty personal information if you ask me, and although I'll reveal it on a job application, I point-blank refuse to do it in a letter to a person whom I may never meet. Besides, there is exactly one reason why an employer wants to know this: So they can screw you. They want to get an idea just how little you'll accept, and then aim a bit lower than that. Bastards.

Still, job-seekers gather 'round, for there's revenge to be had. You know all those on-the-spot questions interviewers pose you? Well, two can play at that game, and I always grab the dice and throw. I believe firmly in asking the same kind of questions, which make interviewers squirm and give me a happy. Here's a sample of the kind of stuff I ask:

- When I was a legal administrator, my supervisory philosophy was to empower people to do their jobs and then get out of their way. What's your philosophy?

- Obviously, you're recruiting not just a set of technical skills, but a person with qualities and mannerisms, etc. What kind of person best fits into this corporate culture?

- Can you tell me about the last time you had to reprimand an employee, and how you handled it?

I guarantee that these questions, and others like 'em, are guaranteed to make interviewers squirm, and that's always fun. Given that you're not likely to get the job, you may as well enjoy yourself at the interview, right?