The Night of One Thousand Dreams

I had one of those nights when you wake up a billion times for about two minutes each, and every time I fell asleep I had another dream. I don't remember most of them, but two stick out in my mind. One was about these giant, carnivorous plants that would eat people, but could also be eaten by people, and that pretty much summed up their conflict. The second was even more bizarre. I was at a company meeting, which makes the dream bad, but at the meeting I saw Judson Earney Scott which makes the dream weird. Things got even weirder when I approached Judson Earney Scott and found it was not Judson Earney Scott, but a woman who looked alot like him. Then I woke up.

For those of you who don't know him, Judson Earney Scott played an uncredited role in "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan", as Joachim Singh. He's also one of only 32 actors to appear in both a Star Trek movie and in a spin-off. There are a few actors, however, who were in the original series, a movie, and a spin-off: Majel Barrett, John Colicos (of "Battlestar Galactica" fame) and, of course, Mark Lenard. Mark Lenard was also in "Planet of the Apes", which normally would make him even cooler except it was the TV series and not the movie. Blech.

My Least Favorite People!

Following the previous post, here's a list of people I hate. I don't love to hate them; I just hate them.

Ann Coulter: She is a maniac. I have read her book "Slander" and can say this with some authority. She's not just your run-of-the-mill conservative with whom I disagree. She is a nasty, intellectually dishonest ideologue with views so incredibly partisan it's hard to believe she's sane. She lies about her age, too, which makes her pathetic as well as cuckoo.

Kevin Costner: This man is a Hollywood sweetheart who has ruined more movies than any cell-phone-yaking yoyo could ever dream. He's not a terrible actor, but he's cast with people who are, and looks all the more terrible in contrast. America, wake up! He's as bland as rice cakes with oxygen sauce.

John O'Connor: He's the archbishop of New York, and yet he still finds time to fulfill his duties as Bigot-in-Chief. He hates gays. He hates abortion. He hates women who have abortions. Of course, he would say he doesn't hate anything, but it's clear he holds these things in utter contempt. He once threatened to excommunicate American Catholics who are pro-choice. That's building bridges the Catholic way!

George W. Bush: The first Resident of the United States, His Fraudulency has made an art form out of short-sighted jingoism. Placed in office by a sympathetic Supreme Court, GWB is living proof that anyone with prestigious name, alot of money, and a modicum of cunning can aspire to be president. A Democrat with a similar history of alcoholism and poor college performance would have been savaged by the same conservatives who applaud GWB, but let's not focus on his sordid past. Bush squandered the goodwill lavished on America after the destruction of the World Trade Center just as he squandered the surplus he inherited from the Clinton administration. He used the fear of terrorism to lead the American people to believe that Saddam had something to do with that act of terrorism, all the while maintaining a plausible deniability in case things in Iraq went bad. When the United Nations showed a distressing reluctance to buy into the story, he said we didn't need them and attacked without even having the courage to ask Congress for a declaration of war. When the invasion was over, he went back to the same UN he'd swept aside and asked them to share the responsibility for rebuilding while leaving the US with all of the authority. On the domestic setting, he preaches that all people are God's children while pushing for an amendment that would enshrine anti-gay bigotry into the guiding document of our country. He spouts off about fiscal good sense while spending the nation into the biggest deficit ever. He mouths support for the separation of church and state while he does everything he can to undermine it. The damage this man has done to the United States is amazing in its scope, and will haunt us long after His Fraudulency has retired and had a library named after him.

I think my #4 choice equals two or three, so it's probably best to end this topic.

My Favorite People!

I have many posts about my favorite things, so I thought it was time for one devoted to the famous people I love. Here goes.

George Carlin: Funny, crotchety, and decidedly un-conservative, I could listen to this man all day. And I have.

Jane Wiedlin: This former Go-Go has dropped somewhat in my estimation, but remains in my Top Ten. (In the "Diary" section of her Web site she ranted at a fan who was being admittedly rude in the comments he posted. His abrasiveness didn't justify hers.) I like her voice, which I realize isn't for everyone, and I find her songs catchy and fun. And she was a Go-Go.

Margaret Cho: This woman should be president someday, and I'd vote for her as many times as I could get away with. Not only is she funny, but she has something to say about bigotry and the beauty-obsessed culture in which we live.

Rev. Barry Lynn: You probably have not heard of Lynn, but he heads Americans United for the Separation of Church & State, of which I am literally a card-carrying member. What I admire most about him is that he himself is a member of the clergy, and yet he's as dedicated as Neil the Atheist to keeping religion out of politics.

Harriet Tubman: Harriet is probably my #1 American of all time. She eschewed that "work within the system" stuff to defy a law that was just evil. There are times to take years to change a law, and there are times when you must simply break it, and Harriet unabashedly broke it. She served the Union army in the Civil War as a scout, a position in which she had command over men, which was unheard of at the time. The shameful way she was treated by her own government after the war is a look at America's worst, but her life and accomplishments are shining examples of America's best.

Random Thoughts

This entry will have little cohesiveness. Deal with it.

- It just occurred to me that the Vorlons on B5 think of themselves and act as gods, which they most certainly are not. Arrogant poopyheads!

- I'm thinking of getting certified as a technical writer, but I don't know much about it. Am looking into it.

- Winter bites.

- I had chicken last night, stir-fried with garlic, ground thyme, sage, and broccoli, served over rice. Yum!

- Doesn't it annoy you when People capitalize Words for No apparent Reason?

- Amy is in Paris right now, where it is no doubt warmer and more wonderful. Curses!

- I have a friend who lives in England, in a place called Surrey. I passed a sign announcing it on the motorway.

I used to think I was a good swimmer...

...until today. I went to the 12th Street Gym with Dan this morning, and we used the pool. Dan did 70 laps (yes, that's seven-oh). He is a fantastic swimmer, and he didn't even collapse when he got out of the water. He rinsed off, got dressed, and we left, just like that. I did 3.5 laps, then got tired and used my hand as a makeshift shark fin whilst humming the "Jaws" music. It's just something I have to do when I am in water.

Given that today is MLK Day, I wanted to bring up something. I've heard on several occasions the following remark, or something like it.

"All the black people take off on Martin Luther King's birthday, but are they really out at memorials and marches, or just sleeping late?"

To those who feel this way, I say this: Do you spend Memorial Day remembering the sacrifices of those who died during military service, or are you on your way to the beach? Uh-huh...I thought so. MLK Day is a holiday just like any other. Some people do special stuff to honor it, and some don't, and none of it makes anyone better or worse than anyone else.

Babylon, the review

I finished Season Four, and I have a few things to say. Naturally.

Damn those Vorlons! I knew they were not to be trusted, and they proved me right in spades.

Goodbye, Mr. Morden. He was such sweet, sexy evil, although he was asking for the ole' head-on-a-pike treatment. It was good that Vir got to wave at him, though.

Garabaldi should die. Yeah, I know the telepaths used him, but it strikes me that his will was not totally subverted. I certainly wouldn't trust him anymore.

The new president sucks. She treated Sheridan like some misbehaving rowdy, when she should not have dared raise her voice to him. He stopped the Shadows, scared off the Vorlon, and saved Earth from an evil dictator.That puts him in the "Deserves Gratitude" column in my book.

Lannier is the most unlucky Minbari in the universe. The woman he loves wants a guy who came back from the dead. How can he top that? Of course, Sheridan will be dead in twenty years, so if Lannier wants to wait a few decades, he might have a chance.

Babylon Satisfied

Ah...my DVD's arrived yesterday, and I am content, having watched 12 episodes. I'll say no more about it until I have finished the entire season. Then I shall gab mightily.

Babylon Denied!

Argh! Nobody, but nobody, had Babylon 5, except for Amazon. I'm wary of Amazon, but I gave in and placed an order for overnight delivery. We'll see if it arrives.

While I'm on the topic of things that annoy me, the building in which my doctor (who rocks) is located has a ground floor and a first floor. People, people...since the ground floor is the first floor one sees, most folk think of the ground floor as the first floor. The first day of January is January 1. The first house on the 1400 block of a street is 1401. Why, then, is the first floor of that building the ground floor?!?

This leads to a larger topic. People expect certain things to work certain ways, which is what we call an intuitive approach. When you receive an application, where on the page do you first look? Top left corner, naturally, because we in America write left to right, top to bottom. If you design a form in which applicants must begin in the bottom right, then proceed to the top right, and then to the center, you have designed a form that is counterintuitive. Say that with me class: counterintuitive. That's why the famed butterfly ballot was so bad; sure, it contained directions, but it worked contrary to all expectation. I design forms for a living, and that was a bad design that any normal person would immediately recognize. That's why government worker Theresa LaPore thought it was just fine.

Galactica II...this time it's prettier

I watched part II of the new Battlestar Galactica last night at Ed's, and will now provide my review.

The reimagined version spent much more time on the destruction of the colonies than the original, and I thought that was appropriate. These people have been in a single stroke deprived of most of their friends and family, and even their entire culture. Their existence has forever changed, and the level of social trauma would be incredible. The original glossed this over, but the remake did not. Also, the addition of faster-than-light craft helped make the logistics work better; there's no way the colonial fleet is escaping anyone by traveling at sub-light speeds. Hell, it would take weeks just to get out of our solar system at the speed of light, much less at sub-light speeds. Finally, the characters are much less black and white than their 70's counterparts, which makes them far more believable.

There are some problems, however. The quest for Earth was thrown in hastily at the end, as a ruse by Adama to give the survivors some (false) hope, which sort of vacates the driving purpose of the show, IMO. Speaking of Adama, Edward James Olmos just didn't fill the admittedly big shoes of Lorne Greene. Greene's Adama was a statesman, a scholar, and a man of wisdom; Olmos' Adama seemed merely a hard-bitten warrior. Also, there were too many pretty people on this show. Sure, the original had some cuties (Richard Hatch, Dirk Benedict, Anne Lockhart), but the new one has these Melrose-place types who just don't seem the kind to join the military. Boomer may not have been pretty, but he was easier to take than all these thin-nosed, sculpted-cheekbone people on the new version.

All in all, I enjoyed the new version for what it was, but I doubt it can supplant the original. The original remains unsupplantable.

B-B-Babylon 5!!!

Yes, you heard right. Season 4 is released tomorrow, and I'm even now warming up my credit card. (I'm not sure exactly why a credit card has to be warm as it also works when it's cold, but my blog, my rules.) I've also taken Thursday and Friday off from work with renegade 2003 vacation time, so I am ready to geek out. Don't even bother checking this blog or telephoning me, because I will be incommunicado.

Questions to which I seek answers are:

1) How did Sheridan survive his plunge into the abyss?
2) Did Mr. Morden survive the blast at Z'hadum?
3) What happened to Garabaldi?

That second question is the most important, particularly because I don't want any harm to come to that pretty face of his, at least until someone puts his head on a pike for being evil! Also, I'm not too sure about the Vorlon and their intentions. They certainly seem somewhat more benevolent than the Shadows, but then again pretty much anybody is more benevolent than the Shadows. They're awfully manipulative, and they dispense assistance at their own discretion, not as it's needed. In a time of crisis you use what you're given, true, but if I were Sheridan and company, I'd be wary of the Vorlon.

Begging for Jurassic Park

Whilst listening to NPR today (that's National Public Radio for the Brits among you), I heard of a biotech company that has genetically enhanced zebra fish so they'll glow in the dark. Yes, Americans now need fish that glow in the dark. Pardon me for being the Voice of Skepticism, but what happens when these fish get into the general fish population and start breeding? You know they will; people who get tired of pet fish often flush them down toilets or toss them into lakes or ponds. Do we know what their offspring will be like? What happens if someone eats one? Of course we can't answer any of these questions, yet some company eager to profit from the American passion for useless bullshit is charging ahead nonetheless.

I'm not opposed in theory to messing with genes, particularly if we can head off in fetuses some pretty nasty diseases or deformities. However, I'm troubled at the notion of fiddling with DNA just so we can have more attractive pets. Genetic power is pretty awesome, if you think about it, and such power should not be wielded lightly. The results could be pretty gruesome.

Rude Candy Update!

I have eaten the Yorkie, and can report that I do not feel any more manly than I did before. However, I think that perhaps a better subject is required. Yorkies may not work on queerboys.

Rude Candy

One of my coworkers gave me a chocolate bar she picked up on her recent trip to Ireland. It's called "Yorkie", and the tag-line is "It's Not for Girls!" The "o" in the name even has the stick-image of a woman in the red circle with the line through it. How politically incorrect! That kind of thing would never fly here, that's for sure. Fun!

I just had a meeting with our HR rep about transferring within my company or to another branch of the parent company. She asked me why I wanted to do so, and I decided to tell her. She was very diplomatic, of course, yet she managed all the same to communicate her own unease with our current commandant's rule. She related that he had once said to her, "When you're put in charge of this company, you can run it your way." That's what you say when you've been asked a question to which you have no good answer, and it tells you all you need to know about the prez of this company. He's basically said, "My way or the highway", so I choose the highway.

Save me from the suburbs!

I haven't blogged in ages, as this weekend I was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Here goes.

I was at my sister's for Xmas, which meant venturing into the dreaded suburbs. I probably come off as a metropolitan snob, but I have very good reasons my disdain. They are:

1) Suburban development overstrains local roads, requiring more state money for highway expansion. Like the movie says, "If you build it, they will come" and so it has proven with roadwork. Widen a highway today and in five years it will once again be over-capacity.

2) Suburbs ruin the cities by encouraging white flight. The white folks leave, taking their tax dollars with them and shrinking the tax base. The cities respond by raising taxes on those who remain, further encouraging departure, while suburban municipalities lure city businesses with low-tax office parks.

3) Suburbs increase auto dependency. The 'burbs are built for people with cars; hell, some of their streets don't even have sidewalks. That increases fuel consumption and air pollution, makes auto accidents more likely, and denies to an already dangerously sedentary society an opportunity for exercise.

On top of all these reasons, there's something else that has always nagged at me. One of the primary reasons people give for moving to the 'burbs is safety, yet once they relocate, nothing changes. They still lock their doors at night, drive their children everywhere because they think walking around is unsafe, and they still buy and keep guns. I don't know if these people are statistically safer, but they sure don't act as if they are safer.

A not so very special blog...

This is a less sharey blog than the one I posted a few days ago. I'm not very sharey, and I still have an emotional skidmark from the last post. But here goes.

I feel pretty good today, a feeling that started last night as I talk a long, late-night walk. This year hasn't been the best for me. You see, problems normally require action, and I am all about action. Present me with a difficulty and I can overcome it. (Hear the "Laverne & Shirley" theme music?) However, 2003 was about uncertainty, which I don't handle so well, probably because I am not quick to make life decisions. Once I make a decision I stick to it come hell or high water, but it's getting there that takes me awhile. I'm arriving (I think) at some clarity, and I feel enormously better because of it.

"Come hell or high water"...isn't that a funny saying? I mean, first you have hell, a place of fire and pain and suffering and doom, where your hopes mean nothing and despair and misery reign. Then you have high water, which...ruins your carpets and makes you file a claim under your homeowner's insurance. Somehow the two just don't seem to go together. "Hell and velour sweatsuits"...now that's scary.

A Disgruntled Observation

I'm pretty disgruntled with my employer, and have been for about a year. I'm not going into the why and when (I get angry just thinking about it), but suffice to say that the company has dealt me several direct face-slaps, all the while telling me how valued I am, how good with the clients, blah blah. Anyway, the whole thing got me thinking about corporate America in general. Is it really any more efficient than the public sector?

Sure, it's easier to fire a private employee, but what does that matter when you're replacing him with an even bigger dunderhead? By keeping Dunderhead #1, you're at least getting consistency, if not quality. Don't think it happens? The new prez of my company goes on and on about a worker (who will be known here as Annoying) who's really a better talker than she is a doer. "Annoying is such a great worker...she'll go far in this company." That's a direct quote. Fact is, she's knows nothing, but she can talk a great game. And she's pretty, which I am sure accounts for much of that acclaim. Annoying isn't alone, either; this company is rife with people who do great B.S. but know little and do less.

I've held seven jobs since high school, six of them in the private sector, and in most of 'em I was surrounded by people who definitely did NOT put government workers to shame. This is the breakdown I see:

30% - Waste of oxygen, good only for keeping chairs warm, but obviously so.
30% - Average worker, basically earns keep.
10% - Also a waste of oxygen, yet presents the appearance of productivity and talent. The most pernicious of the breed.
20% - Motivated and fairly talented, definitely worth keeping around.
10% - Bright and gifted, assets to organization.

It sounds cynical to say that only 60% of the workers in an average company are at least fair, but IMO it's the truth. Why not get rid of the other 40%? Because many of those are in management positions, and they don't eat their own. In fact, those in Group #3 tend to rise to management, which shows you just how pernicious they are. It's one thing to be a fool; quite another to be a fool in charge.

I once heard someone say on a posting board that someone who can succeed at business has the requisite skills to hold public office. Judging from the "successful" people with whom I've worked, I'd say they're barely qualified to hold a spoon.

More Things I Like

Quaker Corn Bran: The best cereal ever, and it's not even sugar-coated. Picture Captain Crunch but puffier, hollow, and made of corn. And tasty. Unfortunately I can rarely find it at stores, and I'm seriously considering attempting to buy directly from the manufacturer.

The Green Party: These folks stand for all the right things, and I support them strongly. I suggest you do the same.

Meatball sandwiches: I use turkey for my meatballs, but once they've stewed in the marinara it makes no difference. Put 'em on a roll and slap some provolone cheese on there, and I'm a happy man.

Ebay: Even if you're not buying, you can make every browse to this auction a trip down Nostalgia Lane. There's neat stuff to buy, too.

Making January look good...

I hate Christmas.

The commercialism. I'm not a very acquisitive person, and in fact I've developed a dislike of the practice of buying stuff that one really doesn't need. This partly accounts for my contempt for SUV's, which are vehicles that are purchased simply as fashion statements, not to answer a need. Needless to say, I'm less than wild about a holiday that centers on buying things.

The overdose of religion. Everyone goes on about what Christmas is really all about, at they same time they jam stores and go into debt to fund it. They run to church, even if they rarely go any other time of year, and act all pious. They also bitch about how they can't put Nativity scenes in public places any more, as if Christians were somehow oppressed in that nation.

The "music." Christmas music is always bland, boring, and full of canned sentiment. The songs center on the same damn things: snow, holly, mistletoe, Santa, Jesus, and stuff that's merry. Inexplicably, everyone feels like the world needs one more cover of "I'll Be Home for Christmas", so they inflict their version upon a world that's really seen enough retreads of that piece of crap.

Christmas is the only time of year I actually look forward to January.

The Greatest Gift of All

No, it's not childbirth; that happens all the time to just about anyone. And it's not a realization of self-worth, either; that's the greatest love of all. One of the rarest qualities in the world is the ability to admit when you're wrong.

Think about it. How many people do you know who can actually admit when they've been wrong about...well, anything? Most people, when confronted with something they've done wrong, simply rearrange the facts of the situation to make wrong right. We all want to think we're the heroes of the story, and some people would rather reimagine reality than admit, even if only to themselves, that they've perhaps played the villain. I don't understand it and never have.

Part of the foundation of my atheism is my belief that my goof-ups really don't matter all that much in terms of the universe, and I like that. It takes the pressure off, and helps me keep my blunders in perspective. So what if I spoke harshly to someone the other day? The earth will still orbit the sun, water continues to flow downhill, and matter has maintained its basic integrity. That means I can apologize to that person without feeling that an apology will destroy my world. It's a good feeling.

Kill that driver!

I was reading Tuesday in the Philadelphia Inquirer about a woman in New Jersey who hit two boys in her car. She said she didn't see them because she was driving with ice on her windshield, but the kids were at a crosswalk and being tended by a crossing guard. Now, those of you who read my blog regularly know this gets my hair up right off just because the authority of a crossing guard was disregarded. The main question is this: How much ice was on that blasted windshield if this woman saw neither the crosswalk, the crossing guard, nor the boys? Hasn't she ever heard of using an ice scraper to clear off car windows before driving?

I'm a driver and I love my car, but I have zero sympathy for those who drive irresponsibly. I'm a Nazi on this issue, I admit it. I believe that if you're found driving drunk, you should lose your license forever. If you're found driving a car that's unsafe (for example, one whose windshield is covered with ice), you lose your license for a really long time. Driving is a privilege, not a right, and if you can't handle that privilege responsibly, you don't deserve to drive. Period.

(Wow...I feel positively conservative.)